[pixelguy]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 months and we are both in our early 20's.

At the start of our relationship she cheated on me and I forgave her. After that it made us stronger and we were both mutual on an affection level and on how much effort we put into the relationship. She was so loving and made me feel like her world and I did the same back. We would text every day and see each other a lot of the time. But as time went on I slowly became the one putting the effort in and she seemed to just take it and feel almost as if she didn't have to give any back. Eventually we started having little arguments from me always asking questions about when she was acting strange and would keep it to herself why (she doesn't like talking to people about things and keeps a lot to herself) and also little fall outs when she would not see me and give me rubbish excuses. We would be fine after and just get over the petty argument. But eventually our texting became watered down, she would stop calling me as much and I got to see her less and less. I would ask her why every now and again but I got no answers so I just let her be that way and kept being my affectionate self towards her in case she felt down or wanted attention or something.

I love this girl so much and do everything for her. I buy her gifts, take her out, always make time for her, text her every morning and would do absolutely anything for her. It was our 3 months of going out yesterday and I brought her a little gift, took her to a cinema and then for a meal and she was okay with me and cuddled up to me whilst we watched the movie. She then text me when she was home saying she loved me and had a great night.

Today she text me in the morning and was fine with me being all affectionate, then I asked her if I could see her again because I’ve only seen her once in the past week and a half, she said no and made up a pointless excuse. I tried to work around it and say she can do what she needs to do and see me after and she still said no. This has happened a lot recently so I just thought I’d give up and just said OK forget it. A few minutes later she sends a tweet saying "I wish I never met you" so I call her and ask who it is about and she says it’s not about me, but I’m that curious I kept going on and on wanting to know who it is about. She then says from nowhere "how do you not understand?! Just don’t speak to me, I need a break." and that’s it.

I didn’t try and go against the break, I just told her I didn’t understand and asked her to explain why and what the break means. She basically told me that she cannot deal with having to see me and text me all the time and can’t have me on her back while she has her exams in 3 weeks. She needs time alone in other words, she said she doesn’t want us to speak at all, and if she wants to see me she will be normal with me, and doesn’t know when she will want to end the break or how long it will last.

I basically suggested we just confront our problems head on and just talk because we might cause more damage than we already have by going on this break but I eventually agreed and told her I respect her decision and now we are on a break and not speaking.

I do not see this ending well at all, I think she is just waiting to break up with me, she set up this trap and I fell right into it. I wish I grew a backbone and just told her I’m not going on any break but I let her get away with it.

Please help me get out of this mess? I need a way to turn this around and make her want me back and regret starting this break. She currently has the upper hand and I do not like it. I don’t know if I should just give her the space she needs and see what happens or if I should just leave her for a few days then tell her I’m not waiting around she is either with me or she is not, or simply just text her telling her it’s over and see where it goes from there. I’m confused. I don’t know how to think?

Please give me advice.

[talaniman]

You want the upper hand? Keep your dignity and self respect by walking away and disappearing from her life, and don't look back no matter what happens. Block her, delete her, and eventually forget her.

You were never a big priority. Take this break as a breakup and accept it and move along with life. No need for any more contact what so ever. Maybe she will wonder, maybe she won't. Doesn't matter, just YOU don't continue to be sucked into whatever her BS is.

Move forward not back, and don't be so quick to forgive a cheater. Surely don't be so quick to give your heart to a stranger of 3 months.

[Oliver2011]

3 months? Think about it, you don't really have a ton invested in this dating situation. She cheated on you, she doesn't communicate well, she doesn't want to be affectionate - see this dating situation for what it is. And it isn't good. You two have dated. I wouldn't call it a relationship because it has only been 3 months and it is far from productive. Wouldn't you want more from a really nice relationship?

As Talaniman says - move on. There are better women out there. Instead of trying to force a relationship next time, get to know the person better before you invest feelings, emotions, and time in someone.