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dlj08 · Feb 27, 2012, 12:44 PM

I've been dating this girl for two years. We met in California where I lived. She's from Texas. We dated long distance for almost a year, and I decided to move for her because the distance was killing us both.

Things were awesome. We fit perfectly. Valentines day she told me how much she loves and cares about me. Barely a week later she asks for this break, she needs time alone.

At first I freaked because it was unexpected and things were fine. It's been over a week, I try to keep contact with her, like asking her how her day is , etc. She calls me every night to say goodnight. I do still tell her I'm here for her and I love her. She was saying it back but now she just sighs when I say it.

Last night we planned to meet in person to talk about it in two days. I asked her where she would like to go for dinner and she said she doesn't know if we will go because we might fight or something. I asked her why would we fight, because this entire time I've been cool about it. I've been giving her space. She claims that we might not end up together after we talk. Or we will just be like we are now.

I cannot be on a break any longer. It's making me realize how much I miss home. All my friends say that she is just going to come back to me and that she is being too prideful and wants to go through with the break and not give into her emotions because she will feel stupid for doing this.

I didn't mention why she is doing this, she said its because her dad has cancer and her mom isn't paying her enough attention and she is overwhelmed with school and exams. I feel like a moron for letting a girl run my life. She treats me like a stranger sometimes. And acts like a b*tch for no reason.

It's not her. She never used to be this way. She also says she has no idea why she is being this way.

odinn7 · Feb 27, 2012, 01:04 PM

I'm not you... I'm not her... so I can't say for sure what's going on but I can say what generally happens in these situations.

A "break" is almost always the end. If you do get back from this break, it will happen again at some point and it will be over. Usually breaks are because they have found someone else and want to try them out while keeping you hanging on the line. The reason they want you to hang on is because they either aren't sure how it will work out for them or they simply don't know how to tell you it's over and are waiting for you to call it quits. It's a tough situation for you.

One thing that gets me is that she wanted a break yet you two talk every night... that, my friend, is not really a break. I bet she is using you for emotional support while she is wanting to be on this break. I knew someone that had something like this happen to him. His girlfriend wanted a break yet would still talk to him all the time about her school and work and how great she was doing. He was supposed to be telling her how super she was doing. Basically, she needed him to make herself feel wonderful. He finally told her he didn't want to hear anymore and a break is a break, and he cut ties with her. I bet your girlfriend needs the support from you because of her situation.

To be honest, I am going to say you are better off if you just tell her outright that you can't go on like this and end it now. It will be difficult and it will hurt, but in the long run it will save you all sorts of pain and grief.

Good luck.

Homegirl 50 · Feb 27, 2012, 01:47 PM

It could be you two are not a fit at least she feels you're not and she wants out.
Tell her you think you should just end the relationship and go NC. Move on with your life.

mmresd · Feb 27, 2012, 03:16 PM

You are doing exactly the opposite of what you are supposed to be doing. First respect her wishes for a break and stop contacting her. If she will ever come back, she will do it after you cut her off completely. If she doesn't, then the distance apart will make you start healing sooner. If you go no contact, it is a win-win situation for you. STOP trying to reach her.

talaniman · Feb 28, 2012, 06:28 PM

You have no one to blame but yourself for being strung along in the casual friend zone. Stop being available for her, no matter what her life is like, and what she is going through.

Talaniman Rule - When you get dumped, disappear from their life.

Then she deals with her confusion without confusing YOU!! Oh and you were for sure DUMPED. So no what ifs, or false hope. She knows how to find you, and take you back IF she wanted to. Do No Contact the correct way,