[Wondergirl]

Yes, I am still her friend. I have no issues with her. And to be honest it is a bit awkward but nothing that I can not deal with. I just was not sure how should handle it.

If for some reason she has not learned your fiance's name yet, she will read it on the wedding invitation. She may or may not mention the past romp to you after that. I'm guessing she will not go into a heartfelt confession. Fourteen years ago!!

[phenomenal woma]

If for some reason she has not learned your fiance's name yet, she will read it on the wedding invitation. She may or may not mention the past romp to you after that. I'm guessing she will not go into a heartfelt confession. Fourteen years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knowing her since we were very young... the type of person that she is, she may say something. The kind of people that we are (our personalities are very similar) we usually see things of this magnitude as something worthy of being discussed on some level. Though it was long ago, it still holds some relevance. It may not be of huge relevance but it is of some nonetheless.

[Wondergirl]

Knowing her since we were very young....the type of person that she is, she may say something. The kind of people that we are (our personalities are very similar) we usually see things of this magnitude as something worthy of being discussed on some level. Though it was long ago, it still holds some relevance. It may not be of huge relevance but it is of some nonetheless.

Yet she has no idea of your future groom's last name??

And if she "says something," so what? She won't have much to say, methinks.

[phenomenal woma]

Yet she has no idea of your future groom's last name???????????

She does.

[Wondergirl]

She does.

So what is your problem with this? If she was going to say something, she would have said it by now.

[phenomenal woma]

So what is your problem with this? If she was going to say something, she would have said it by now.

I mentioned that she is going through a divorce. She has been extremely stressed dealing with that amongst other personal things so she has a lot on her mind. I mentioned his name casually as I ended a conversation with her recently. I am still not sure if she picked up on it. Her mind has been all over the place. My whole position on this was I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable-including myself and am unsure how to approach it. Sometimes it helps to get other people's perspectives on things.

[Wondergirl]

I mentioned that she is going through a divorce. She has been extremely stressed dealing with that amongst other personal things so she has a lot on her mind. I mentioned his name casually as I ended a conversation with her recently. I am still not sure if she picked up on it. Her mind has been all over the place. My whole position on this was I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable-including myself and am unsure how to approach it. Sometimes it helps to get other people's perspectives on things.

My suggestion is to let this die a quiet death. It was years ago and it doesn't seem to be a concern, or will be a concern, for her. Why stir up trouble when none is there to be stirred up? What about all the women he slept with after her?

[phenomenal woma]

My suggestion is to let this die a quiet death. It was years ago and it doesn't seem to be a concern, or will be a concern, for her. Why stir up trouble when none is there to be stirred up? What about all the women he slept with after her?

When my boyfriend and I connected the dots, we were both unsure how to approach this. The thing is that they are both in my life and may at some point have to coexist in the same space. I don't want any of the three of us to feel uneasy.
The difference between her and anyone he has dealt with afterward is that she is a dear friend of mine. She is in my life. We all have pasts but when our pasts overlap, so to speak, it becomes a little weird.

The reason there was absolutely no concern was because it was unknown to all parties involved. Now that it is definitely known to two people involved, I wondered if it was fair or at all necessary for the third person in the equation to be given a heads up.

[Wondergirl]

When my boyfriend and I connected the dots, we were both unsure how to approach this. The thing is that they are both in my life and may at some point have to coexist in the same space. I don't want any of the three of us to feel uneasy.
The difference between her and anyone he has dealt with afterward is that she is a dear friend of mine. She is in my life. We all have pasts but when our pasts overlap, so to speak, it becomes a little weird.

You seem to be the one making this weird. You seem to be the one who will be uneasy. You approach it this way: drop it and stop making a mountain out of a molehill.

[phenomenal woma]

You seem to be the one making this weird. You seem to be the one who will be uneasy. You approach it this way: drop it and stop making a mountain out of a molehill.

Actually my boyfriend and family are concerned as well.

[Wondergirl]

Actually my boyfriend and family are concerned as well.

Concerned about what? That she is going to make a scene? Throw things? Scream and cry in hysterics for getting dumped by your groom 14 years ago? Smash the wedding cake?

[phenomenal woma]

Concerned about what? That she is going to make a scene? Throw things? Scream and cry in hysterics for getting dumped by your groom 14 years ago? Smash the wedding cake?

Concerned about my feelings, the friendship and tension.

[Wondergirl]

Concerned about my feelings, the friendship and tension.

There's tension?

Your feelings? About what? That he will look at her on your wedding day and jilt you?

[talaniman]

Often the fear is worse than the event. Adults deal with awkward moments that happen all the time without going crazy, or irrational. A long time friend would have just come straight out with it instead of beating around the bush though.

Is all the drama and family intrigue necessary?

[Wondergirl]

Is all the drama and family intrigue necessary?

This thread makes me feel like I am back in junior high school again.

I do not see a problem.

[phenomenal woma]

Often the fear is worse than the event. Adults deal with awkward moments that happen all the time without going crazy, or irrational. A long time friend would have just come straight out with it instead of beating around the bush though.

Is all the drama and family intrigue necessary?

When people truly care about you, your happiness and comfort is their desire. No one is going crazy. No one has deemed this circumstance drama either. As a matter of fact, the response was quite the contrary.
It is a situation that I was unsure of how to handle because I have never dealt with anything close to this type of situation before... nor has anyone close to me. I was just curious as to how another would deal with this.Though your advice and opinion is very different from all of the others I received, I realize that each individual's lifestyles shape their opinions. Your time, energy and dedication to me and my situation is appreciated.

This thread makes me feel like I am back in junior high school again.

I do not see a problem.

The junior high school feeling... finally we agree. Lol
Glad you were allowed to feel youthful again.
As for me, if I saw no problem with something, I would not put fort such effort to respond but to each his own. I appreciate it.

[Wondergirl]

As for me, if I saw no problem with something, I would not put fort such effort to respond but to each his own. I appreciate it.

I'm not the one prolonging this. I almost closed the thread a page or two ago.

Again, I believe you see a problem where none exists.

[phenomenal woma]

I'm not the one prolonging this. I almost closed the thread a page or two ago.

Again, I believe you see a problem where none exists.

Everybody knows that almost doesn't count. Thank you again to catering to me and my not problem but situation.

[talaniman]

Have you gained any helpful insights as to what way you will handle this?

[phenomenal woma]

Have you gained any helpful insights as to what way you will handle this?

Yes, I have. Thank you.