[Ohioblue1982]

I have been dating my college sweetheart for the last year since my divorce. I have one daughter in college and one that is a freshman in high school. The issue is that my college sweetheart lives in California and I live in OH. I don't feel like it is a good idea to move my freshman daughter away from her friends and family. We see each other as much as possible and he attempted to get a job in OH but can't find one in his specialty. I hate the long distance relationship and just want to have a normal relationship but I can't think of any possible way to close the distance gap until my daughter graduates from high school 3 and 1/2 years from now. I feel frustrated and feel like friends don't get it at all. No matter how positive I try to be, I feel chronically frustrated because I can't change the situation. When a friend says, "well at least you get to see him in a couple of weeks" I want to say, how would you feel if you didn't see your significant other for weeks on end and didn't have an ending point for the separation for three and 1/2 years. I don't know how to cope with that. Any suggestions?

[joypulv]

Countless people move with teens in tow.
Yes, of course your daughter wants to stay with her friends, but she will adapt.
If you are positive about this man...

[Zea]

Seems like you have known this guy for a long while, and you consider him at heart, he must be so dearly good willed to you.
Since, you are taking things to the next level, than there is nothing wrong with moving. It is life, nothing remains constant, time keeps running on and we have to catch up with it.

I suggest that you ask for your daughter's opinion too, teenagers are sensitive, and besides, you never know what is in the near future unless you approach it yourself.
I wish you all good luck.

[fredg]

What would your daughter do if you were a military family? And, had to move here and there every few months.
There are other occupations that one has causing a family to have to move a lot. If you really love this man, and want to be with him, you should be the first concern, not your daughter. I wouldn't put myself through misery like this just because my daughter will have to go to a new school! I do wish you the best, and good luck.

[JudyKayTee]

What is it that you can't cope with? The comments of your friends? The long-distance relationship for another 3 years (give or take)? Moving with your daughter in tow, uprooting her?

Where is her father in this equation? She won't be the first or the last child to move from one parent to another so school won't be disrupted.

- or, as long as you're the parent and the move is right for you, you move and she comes with you.

FredG makes good points - lots of kids move for lots of reasons, all of them beyond their control.

I would just be concerned about moving cross country to be with someone you see for weekends or weeks or whatever and have never actually lived with. I was in a long distance relationship. The week-long "vacations" were just that, vacations. The living together? Not so simple.

And finding old, lost loves is always dicey. Not saying it doesn't work - just saying you are out of college and time has passed.

[lovemynavy22]

Girl, get over yourself. Your daughter will be fine, you deserve happiness. I think you are afraid to move and you are using your daughter as an excuse. Look at the real issues here. Teenagers move all the time, families move too. She can visit her family in OH during spring break and summers.