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Lacey19 · Mar 26, 2007, 03:21 AM

This morning I've not stopped crying I just don't know what to do. When I think I've made my mind up something else comes and slaps me in my face. For those who don't know I'm 19 and 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My family are highly against it. Calling me up telling me they will pay for a private termination. Being isolated from the rest of the family being told I am completely ruining my life by having this baby. My brother got me a Job in November last year he is one of the managers and is saying to me how his sent the last 20 years building up his caeere for me NOT to spoil it. How it makes him look bad within th company and how I may not have a job at the end of it. They have all told me how I the best thing for me to do is to have an abortion. That really isn't something I want to do but the harder this gets the more and more I think about having an abortion. Thing is I know I will end up resenting everyone in my family if I do that and it will tear me apart. They are really making this hard for me. My boyfriend has been great and he said to me that he will be there for me no matter what he doesn't want me to have an abortion and he said that I have qualifications and there are plenty more jobs out there if one door closes another will open. I really don't know what to do this is driving me mad I just fel like running away and never coming back.

Please help me I really don't know what to do I feel so isolated.

iAMfromHuntersBar · Mar 26, 2007, 03:30 AM

Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way a pro-lifer or anything like that, but;

Be strong, don't let anyone bully you into anything!

If you will end up resenting your family if you do have a termination then why listen to them?

Find strength in the fact that your boyfriend loves you and is standing by you... you're not alone!

With respect to the job... don't fret about it... you're talking about having a child which is a tad more important!

Lacey19 · Mar 26, 2007, 03:34 AM

I understand what your saying but if you could see the state I'm in at the moment then maybe you would have a better picture, my family are making this so hard for me its unbelievable. I really don't know what the right decision is.

curlybenswife · Mar 26, 2007, 03:38 AM

You know what those tears will fall sweetheart for no bloody reason so get used to that one.
Your brother and the job well screw it he will get over it and move on, right now its all still fresh and new there not seeing you as an adult with child there seeing you as there kid sister or baby girl and I can guarantee they honestly think they know what's best, but you're an adult you make the discission and you call the shots.
Stand tall poppet and do what's best for you never mind everyone else it will all work itself out in the end xxxxx
P.s no one said it would be easy xxxxxx

phoenix1664 · Mar 26, 2007, 03:40 AM

This is your's and your boyfriends baby not there's they should support you in this.

Don't let anyone tell you to do anything that you don't want to do in the job respect there are always other jobs making a baby is a hard decision yes but yours and yours alone.

I hope this helps you

Lacey19 · Mar 26, 2007, 03:43 AM

I feel so isolated like the black sheep of the family. I just need a cuddle lol :)

phoenix1664 · Mar 26, 2007, 03:46 AM

I am sure they will come around and support you just hang in there (HUG).

Good luck

missk · Mar 26, 2007, 07:10 AM

Let me tell you-I have been in the same situation-and it is a hard road to go alone. It is hard being pregnant anyway, but when your family doesn't support you it makes it harder. Should you decide to stay pregnant, this situation will make you a stronger person and see true colors. Remember your family probably just loves you and they know how difficult it is to raise a child, but you can do it. There is nothing better than the love you feel for your own child. I was also 19 when I got pregnant and now my son is 12 years old. The day he was born Everything changed, after being pregnant and alone all that time, my family was all over that baby and love him to death. I still think about how they treated me when I was pregnant and it just makes me realize the special bond that I have with my son. Your emotions are on a rollercoaster right now so just try to relax and focus on you. You and the baby are the most important right now, don't worry about all the other stuff. You should just tell them if they love you then to let you go and explain to them that you do not need the extra stress right now for the sake of your pregnancy and the future of your baby. NOT trying to scare you, but premature birth can be caused by stress (amongst other things) so your family needs to back off for the health of your pregnancy. If they are not going to support you then they need to be the mature ones and support the baby. Am I repeating myself? Sorry, just passionate.

EnglishRose · Mar 26, 2007, 09:23 AM

Hey hun, I'll be on msn later if you still want to show me that picture.
X

Lacey19 · Mar 26, 2007, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by missk

Let me tell you-I have been in the same situation-and it is a hard road to go alone. It is hard being pregnant anyway, but when your family doesn't support you it makes it harder. Should you decide to stay pregnant, this situation will make you a stronger person and see true colors. Remember your family probably just loves you and they know how difficult it is to raise a child, but you can do it. There is nothing better than the love you feel for your own child. I was also 19 when I got pregnant and now my son is 12 years old. The day he was born Everything changed, after being pregnant and alone all that time, my family was all over that baby and love him to death. I still think about how they treated me when I was pregnant and it just makes me realize the special bond that I have with my son. Your emotions are on a rollercoaster right now so just try to relax and focus on you. You and the baby are the most important right now, don't worry about all the other stuff. You should just tell them if they love you then to let you go and explain to them that you do not need the extra stress right now for the sake of your pregnancy and the future of your baby. NOT trying to scare you, but premature birth can be caused by stress (amongst other things) so your family needs to back off for the health of your pregnancy. If they are not going to support you then they need to be the mature ones and support the baby. Am I repeating myself? Sorry, just passionate.

Thank you it is nice to know that I'm not the only one that has been or is in this situation thank you for your advice it has really helped.

robertsqueen · Mar 26, 2007, 09:28 AM

I know right now that life seems hard. I was pregnant at twenty and my family HATED the father of the baby.. who is now my husband. I really didn't get any support from them at first.. but when they saw that I was mature and dedicated to my preganncy and baby... they started supporting me. You just have to hang in there. To make yourself feel better take a bath and spend time with the one that is supporting you and the one that matters.. your boyfriend.. the father of the baby.

Lacey19 · Mar 26, 2007, 09:29 AM

Were you living together whilst you were pregnant how was life before you became pregnant with your partner and how is it now.

robertsqueen · Mar 26, 2007, 09:36 AM

Yeah I got pregnant right after we moved in together. It was stressful before I got pregnant because my family hated my husband and wanted me to have notheing to do with him. I ended up moving in with him because my mom wouldn't allow him around her house... and I loved him. When I was pregnant life was hard beucase my family really didn't accept it... or him. Now they see that I am a good mommy and he is agood daddy.

Lacey19 · Mar 26, 2007, 09:39 AM

That's exactly how it is here his not allowed in my house but we are not living to gether just yet. Im glad it all worked out for you

robertsqueen · Mar 26, 2007, 09:45 AM

If you need to talk at all just message me and we can talk... I know that it is hard... and stressful.You have to not be so stressed out because you could hurt the baby. I would not get an abortion... when I look in baily's eyes... I could not imagine my life without him now..

missk · Mar 26, 2007, 12:41 PM

You're welcome. Glad I could help

endlessecho · Mar 28, 2007, 09:12 PM

I'm pro-choice. And it is that, your choice! It's not your families. Hun, I know you're confussed right now and your family is making you feel like a big faliure, but if you get an abortion because someone else wants you to, YOU have to live with that, to them, it won't matter. Family is supposed to love and support you and help you in your time of need, not aid to your stress and judge you. I hope everything works out for you.

missk · Mar 29, 2007, 08:22 AM

If you can, keep in touch and let us know how everything is going. :)

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by Lacey19

This morning ive not stopped crying i just dont know what to do. When i think ive made my mind up something else comes and slaps me in my face. For those who dont know im 19 and 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My family are highly against it. Calling me up telling me they will pay for a private termination. Being isolated from the rest of the family being told i am completely ruining my life by having this baby. My brother got me a Job in November last year he is one of the managers and is saying to me how his sent the last 20 years building up his caeere for me NOT to spoil it. How it makes him look bad within th company and how i may not have a job at the end of it. They have all told me how i the best thing for me to do is to have an abortion. That really isnt something i want to do but the harder this gets the more n more i think about having an abortion. Thing is i know i will end up resenting everyone in my family if i do that and it will tear me apart. they are really making this hard for me. My boyfriend has been great and he said to me that he wil be there for me no matter what he doesnt want me to have an abortion and he said that i have qualifications and there are plenty more jobs out there if one door closes another will open. I really dont know what to do this is drivin me mad i just fel like running away and never coming back.

Please help me i really dont know what to do i feel so isolated.

Don't let anyone convince you to have an abortion. You are 19 and you and if your boyfriend is happy with your being pregnant than that is all that matters. You have every right to be happy and have a family of your own I think it is wrong for your family to treat you that way.. I am 16 weeks right now plus I have an 8 month old and my family is supportive.. you just worry about yourself and your baby and your boyfriend right now and when the baby is born maybe your family will be happy

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 02:05 PM

Don't let anyone convince you to have an abortion. You are 19 and you and if your boyfriend is happy with your being pregnant than that is all that matters. You have every right to be happy and have a family of your own I think it is wrong for your family to treat you that way.. I am 16 weeks right now plus I have an 8 month old and my family is supportive.. you just worry about yourself and your baby and your boyfriend right now and when the baby is born maybe your family will be happy