[Tutsi23]

It's been almost a year since me and my fiancé broke up. I've accepted the idea that we won't be together. Throughout our relationship he put me through hell. Always lied to me. And mentally abused me for 3 months after we broke up. I haven't been seeing anyone every since him. I notice that I pushed everybody away. I lean on crutches when it comes to me or my personal feelings. I overload myself with school and work so much that I have no time to eat. I have no days off. I choose this life because I'm scared to be left alone with my emotions. I feel like people aren't worthy. They will hurt me. That's why I'm scared of any other relationship. I have fear of trusting people. I got pushed in into a very dark corner. And I can't let myself out of it.

[Wondergirl]

Yep. You need to spend some time with a good counselor to help you work through this. Can you find one on your own?

[Burtney4617]

Tutsi23,

There is nothing wrong with you. You are having a hard time with life right now and have been through an emotionally abusive relationship and breakup.

Wondergirl is right. You need to find a good therapist (not all of them are good) to face these emotions. You aren't perfect and you don't have to be, but by taking a step in the right direction then everything will fall into place eventually. Getting therapy will help you figure out what you want for yourself and how to be happy.

You don't have to see anyone to prove that you're over him. Focus on yourself and your happiness. You are not alone, everyone has hard times. You can always post here if you want to get something off your mind :)

[mogrann]

I agree with the others. A therapist will help you work on your issues so you become a healthy happier person that knows what she wants in life. What you are doing right now is common to people that have been abused. A therapist will help you break the cycle so you can not live in fear and push people away. Good luck to you on your journey to your new life.