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My Girlfriend wants me back and I need a little advice.
Okay, so I posted a question a few weeks ago - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-709158.html
It has been 12 weeks since I last saw her 8 weeks since the break then split therefore we have been apart for 2 months now. I have been out with my friends a lot more, been doing more fitness, keeping myself busy, socializing and even meeting a few new girls. I feel better for having more of a life now, but I still miss her, even more so than before. She has been texting me a lot sometimes bringing up questions about the relationship and what not, saying she has changed, she has realized what a she has been and know I will never take her back. She said the biggest mistake she made was breaking up with me and letting me go and she still loves me as much as she did in the relationship. I ended up telling her I don't want to hear it, so she rarely brings it up now, but still does. Especially when she is drunk. Now, before you get the wrong idea, I never text her first, she always text me. I didn't reply to her to start with, but then she started asking me random questions completely off the subject that I thought was harmless, i.e. work related. Whenever she does text me, I try and keep it short, not rude, but so hard to keep a conversation going, it does run very thin and eventually comes to an end, (not through her lack of trying). As far as she is concerned, I have moved on, I can live without her, I'm not bothered whether she texts me or not and so on... but the reality of it is, the longer I am away from her, the more I miss her, and the harder it is getting, this just means I have been doing more and more so I don't have time to think about it haha. About 2 weeks ago, she text me saying she wants to talk about everything at Christmas when she is back from uni, I said leave it with me and I'll let you know, she replied okay, so I saw this as an opportunity to think about it, however it was not even 24 hours before she was texting me again. She has made a mistake by letting me go, because I know, as well as been told throughout the years, I am a catch, I believe her when she says she has made a mistake, and I also believe her when she says she still loves me. But what do I do about this conversation? I know the outcome of some questions will make my answer no, depending on what she says. I have not let her know I miss her, and love her more and more every day, nor have I said I want to give it another go, as I am not entirely 100% sure yes, but if all goes well, should I give her a second chance? |
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"I have been out with my friends a lot more, been doing more fitness, keeping myself busy, socializing and even meeting a few new girls. I feel better for having more of a life now" - this is called moving your life forward which is huge and very healthy after a break up. Many people get depressed and stop their life - you handled the breakup very well.
"and love her more and more every day" - don't mistake loneliness for missing her or loving her more. I have a life policy of never going backwards. But truly this is your decision to make. Good luck! |
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If you have moved on then who cares?
Well obviously you do or you would not be posting here. If you want her back maybe see her casually once or twice and see how things go for a few weeks on your terms. If you want friends then say that to her. But first it would be best to have a large time gap. If you want to move on then text her. "Please stop contacting me!." Simple! People want what they can't have. She made her bed so let her lie in it! :P O and nice one for making changes your in life to be able to move on. That shows you are emotionally strong :) Congrats. I am doing the same as you and it helps a hell of a lot. |
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Ask Me Help Desk - View Single Post - Me and my girlfriend are on a break. What should I do?
 Originally Posted by asw091
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I did read your other post.
But! When you said "You wanted two wks.!" "Take the two wks.!" That is what changed the relationship! You should have just let it be as it is. If she wanted to stay in touch! Then let her do just that! There is a 70's song by the group called Bread the song is called "It don't matter to me" There are a few lines that I can recall! Goes: it don't matter to me. If you're searching brings you. Back together with me. Cause there will always be an empty heart... Waiting or you! An open room... waiting for you! Time!! Is on my side! Cause it don't matter to me! The song talks about a couple that the girl wants space as well! And he knows "It don't matter to me!" If! You are still not sure! See about being just friends for the time being. And see what develops! |
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Originally Posted by talaniman
Turns out she didn't have a new boyfriend, she just said it to see how I would react, but unluckily for her I didn't give her the reaction she was hoping for. After seeing her face to face, I decided that I don't want to go back to what we had, as much as I may miss her, I don't want what happened, to happen again, I'll leave her to her uni, she seems to be getting on fine, and I don't want to disturb that, I'm getting on fine and I definitely don't want to disturb that. She said she was really sorry for what she did and she wants to talk about it, which I was more than happy to hear her out, but after changing her mood every five minutes and kept cancelling on me after organizing it about 4-5 times, I threw the towel in. She's back in Hull in uni, I'm back at work performing better than ever and I'm happy. I suppose, after seeing her again and knowing she couldn't make a little bit of time to talk was enough closure for me. I'm done. :-) |
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Originally Posted by asw091
"she just said it to see how I would react" - This should have concerned you greatly. Who plays games with a relationship like that? Hopefully she will learn a life lesson from this. I hate to say it but me thinks you could handle just about anything that comes your way. I wish you all the best. |
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I don't see me holding on to be fair, of cause I still care about her, but that's only normal surely, but with my new social life, New text buddy, I have plenty of things keeping me busy... I just have to take this relationship on the chin and find another worth the effort.
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Hi there,
I have to say I really commend you for standing up for yourself and doing things that bring out the best and not the worse in you. Feeling sorry for yourself never works when dealing with a devastating breakup. I have recently encountered the same dilemma. My ex has tried to keep in contact with me in the time we have been apart. Luckily, it hasn't changed my mind on where I firmly stand and I have not given in to contacting him since the new year. The way I figure it is you're letting them dictate your life if you give in and let them rehash the past relationship. It is not helpful to the process of moving forward and in turn, you give them the instant gratification of knowing you are not completely over them. I say know your own worth and never let someone who couldn't be considerate about your feelings continue to hurt you. I am a firm believer that you teach people how to treat you and if you allow her to stay a part of your life, you are telling her it's okay for her to play games with you. You have certainly made a wise decision that will not only better you in future romantic relationships and your personal life, but the relationship you have with yourself. I have also taken up a few new hobbies since the breakup. Although these activities don't replace the feelings I still have for him, it helps me in staying true to myself and know exactly what I want out of life. Your story is a true, inspiring message that I hope a lot of people who are experiencing the same pain can learn from. Take care and all the best to you in your immediate future! :) |
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