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wasted · Jan 21, 2013, 12:08 AM

This is the second time I mention this problem between me and my boyfriend... I haven't been kissed by him or touched any part of my body since October 2012... He keeps mentioning that because of my insecurity and lack of 100% trust to him, he doesn't feel attracted to me at all... Last time he was under the influence of alcohol and got angry for no reason and started mentioning something weird by saying that I don't treat people in public right... that I am angry sometimes when I play basketball and I don't get the ball passed on to me, so he said he is confused and doesn't know if he loves me anymore... then after one day he said he didn't mean it... I am ed up and confused and I haven't had sex for good five months... Should I go and find and have it somewhere else with someone else? That's cheating right? But don't you think I have the right to? I mean I am human and have needs...

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2013, 12:26 AM

No, you never have the right to cheat, you can either leave him or get his permission to have a open relationship.

wasted · Jan 21, 2013, 12:36 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

no, you never have the right to cheat, you can either leave him or get his permission to have a open relationship.

Thank you for your answer.
What do you mean open relationship? We live together and I have a five year old daughter from a previous marriage.
Please let me know if you are a male or female... and if you are male, can a man really stay without sex for such long time?

J_9 · Jan 21, 2013, 12:52 AM

Anopen relationship is one where your partner doesn't mind if you are having sex with other people. The know and are completely aware. They, inturn, are permitted to have sex with others outside of your relationship as well.

Sex is not a requirement to live a healthy life. Many men and women go years, even their entire lives, without having sex. You won't die if you don't do it.

Cheating is a deal breaker. Either get couples counseling to get to the root of the problem or walk away from the relationship. Don't stoop to being a low life cheater.

wasted · Jan 21, 2013, 12:56 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Anopen relationship is one where your partner doesn't mind if you are having sex with other people. The know and are completely aware. They, inturn, are permitted to have sex with others outside of your relationship as well.

Sex is not a requirement to live a healthy life. Many men and women go years, even their entire lives, without having sex. You won't die if you don't do it.

Cheating is a deal breaker. Either get couples counseling to get to the root of the problem or walk away from the relationship. Don't stoop to being a low life cheater.

What is the point of staying together as a couple if each one of us is allowed to sleep and have feelings for other people... this must be a joke right? Plus I mentioned that I have a five year old daughter who lives with us and she is my everything... such relationship would ruin her personality too...

J_9 · Jan 21, 2013, 01:04 AM

Open relationships work for some couples but its not mainstream for sure.

You have a choice here:

1) accept it and live with it ;
2) get couples counseling; or
3) end the relationship and move on.

Cheating is not an option.

wasted · Jan 21, 2013, 01:05 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Open relationships work for some couples but its not mainstream for sure.

You have a choice here:

1

Sorry I don't understand... what do you mean?

J_9 · Jan 21, 2013, 01:07 AM

Read above again.

wasted · Jan 21, 2013, 01:11 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Read above again.

Sorry but I already mentioned above and before you answered to my question that I can't consider such thing as open relationship... what makes you write and suggest it? No idea...

J_9 · Jan 21, 2013, 01:17 AM

Stop focusing on the open relationship. Gah...

The two of you either need to get counseling or break up.

amberlou · Jan 22, 2013, 05:56 PM

Your right wasted. You have the right to have sex with someone else, but not while you remain with this person. If an open relationship is something you don't want to consider the only way you will get your needs filled is by either taking care of them yourself, say hello to ann summers! Having a good heart to heart and finding the cause of the lack of affection, has either of your weights changed or anything else that could affect confidence or attraction on either part? Otherwise you find someone else and you have yourself a fling after saying good bye to this man. But if this was me I'd want to know that before doing that I had done everything to try and make it better first.

Alty · Jan 22, 2013, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by wasted

What is the point of staying together as a couple if each one of us is allowed to sleep and have feelings for other people... this must be a joke right? Plus I mentioned that I have a five year old daughter who lives with us and she is my everthing... such relationship would ruin her personality too...

What's the point of staying together as a couple if you're going to cheat on him? I think you're the one that's kidding yourself.

At least with an open relationship you're being honest, not cheating behind his back.

So let me get this straight. You want to step outside of this "relationship" and scratch your itch by having sex with someone else, but you don't like the idea of him having sex with someone else? You're a hypocrite!

How do you think your daughter would feel if she found out that mommy was sleeping around with other guys behind the boyfriends back? Would you rather teach her to be honest in her relationships, or teach her to sneak around spreading her legs because she's horny, but can't be honest enough to leave, or suggest an alternative such as an open relationship?

You're the one that mentioned that you wanted to cheat on him, but you're incensed when we suggest an open relationship? Wow!