[dukenukem99]

My girlfriend had sex with a black guy, and I'm disgusted is there something wrong with me?

[Synnen]

Well, did she have sex with him while you were dating? Or before?

If it was while you were dating, I'd be upset too.

If it was BEFORE you were dating, you have issues.

[dukenukem99]

Well, did she have sex with him while you were dating? Or before?

If it was while you were dating, I'd be upset too.

If it was BEFORE you were dating, you have issues.

It was before. And the thing is we've talked about it and she told me how she was kind of forced into it. Not raped but kind of coerced. Could it be that maybe I'm upset that she was coerced and not that it was a black guy?

[dontknownuthin]

Well, you're the one making an issue of it being a black guy, so you clearly have some issues with his race. Unless you're a virgin, you're being kind of an idiot about it. You should apologize to her. And I hope she's not making it sound kind or coerced to cover up the fact that she chose to have a sexual affair with a man who's race is an issue to you.

If you two can't handle the truth, don't share details of who you've slept with before you were together.

[Synnen]

It could be. Only you would know that.

If it is NOT because she was coerced (which, by the way, is still rape--and she should have reported it immediately), then you need to take a good look at yourself. Your girlfriend had a life before you, and you need to realize that what you like about her was shaped by that past.

[dukenukem99]

It could be. Only you would know that.

If it is NOT because she was coerced (which, by the way, is still rape--and she should have reported it immediately), then you need to take a good look at yourself. Your girlfriend had a life before you, and you need to realize that what you like about her was shaped by that past.

That's very true. I don't think race had anything to do with it. I think it was just me being immature and I think that part of it is me being mad that she was coerced and when we've talked about it and she told me that she was young and naïve and that's how she was not forced but not totally in her will if that makes sense. I care for her and I have done all I can to move past it which I have. Thanks for the feed back

[Fr_Chuck]

As we get older, and still date, women may have had sex with dozens of men , and we date them. If you can not handle the details of they past sexual experience don't discuss it with them.

What she did in the past is just that, the past, it is immature to judge the other person on what they did in the past.

[dontknownuthin]

I agree, Fr. although I hope not too many have been with dozens! Seriously though - men are all about women having sex with them within x number of dates, but then when they get serious about a woman some expect this woman, whom they probably pressured to have sex before marriage, is not a virgin.

There are women who remain virgins or at least are very slow to go to bed with a man - the man who gets these women are the men who are willing to wait a long time to "score" with the girl.

[Synnen]

And then there are women who have had "dozens" (or at least more than 2) who kick douchebag guys that EXPECT purity in this day and age to the curb.

If you want purity, you'd better be pure yourself.

If you've had sex with ANYONE before marriage, then you have no right to expect purity in your marriage partner.

My number is nobody's business, including my husband. Whether I have a disease, any fetishes I might have, and whether our sex drives are compatible are open to discussion--but how many people I have had sex with and who they were is absolutely NOT open to discussion.

Any guy that can't accept that a woman has a past, just like he does, needs to get counseling for his hangups from the 1300s.