[Meli67]

I suffer from severe depression. I have been on medication for about 20 years. It does not do much but I am worse without it. I have been hospitalized about 4 times in the last 10 years when I was suicidal. I have been to several therapists which have not helped at all.

I am at the point where I have no hope of getting better. I've actively searched for answers or help but all I get is someone that listens to me but do not give me a way to get out of this. I am desperate. I want to be better but at this point, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I don't know where to turn to.

Please if anyone can tell me what I can do? I've truly lost all hope. I lost my faith in God, I have only my husband and two children that are far away and do not really care. Please someone help me.

Meli67

[Wondergirl]

I'm glad you posted. This is a great site for feedback.

Has your medication been changed or tweaked over the years?

Why isn't the counseling helping? What's not happening in therapy sessions?

[Meli67]

Thank you for answering

I have tried many different medicines and different dosages. Many I could not tolerate because of the side effects.

With the counseling, they just seemed to listen to me talk but not offer advice.

What I think would help me in counseling is if they could tell what is wrong and what I can do to change like they way I am thinking or whatever.

I feel the medicine just numbs my emotions. When I tried to come off it, I just am over emotional and cry a lot. I wish that I could get off the medicine and deal with the issues I have though it scares me to think about it.

There is nothing in life I enjoy (besides sleeping). There is nothing I want to do in life or anywhere I want to go. I stay inside except for work. I don't enjoy television or music.

Meli67

[Wondergirl]

What work do you do?

You said, "What I think would help me in counseling is if they could tell what is wrong and what I can do to change like they way I am thinking or whatever." Are you seeing a counselor now? If so, I have a suggestion for you to bust this wide open :).

[Meli67]

I work in a medical clinic, front desk.

[Wondergirl]

Are you currently seeing a counselor? How often?

[Meli67]

About twice a month

[Wondergirl]

When is your next appointment?

[Meli67]

January 14th I believe.

[Wondergirl]

You are the one the counseling is to benefit. It is probably being paid for by your money or health insurance, right?

It is up to you to tell the counselor, "This isn't working for me. I want to put together a list of what is wrong and what I can do to make concrete changes in my thinking and in my life. Then I want us to work on that list, point by point."

[Meli67]

You are the one the counseling is to benefit. It is probably being paid for by your money or health insurance, right?

It is up to you to tell the counselor, "This isn't working for me. I want to put together a list of what is wrong and what I can do to make concrete changes in my thinking and in my life. Then I want us to work on that list, point by point."

Thanks Wondergirl

[Wondergirl]

"This isn't working for me. I want to put together a list of what is wrong and what I can do to make concrete changes in my thinking and in my life. Then I want us to work on that list, point by point."

Do you have the courage to say that to the counselor?

[Meli67]

Yes, I'll just have to write it down when I go so I remember what to say.

[Wondergirl]

yes, I'll just have to write it down when I go so I remember what to say.

:) Do it at the beginning of a session.

[Meli67]

OK thank you

[Wondergirl]

ok thank you

Let me know what happens. I always made sure to tell my new clients to do exactly that -- complain if they ever didn't feel counseling was helping. After all, the counseling was for them, not for me, and I wanted to do my best to help them drive over life's speed bumps.