[Sam08980]

Hi. Can someone help me enlighten my mind and my heart. Im so down right now and I need some advise so I can move on.

I just broke up with my lover recently . We are both married and both doesn't have kids. I started this affair last year when I caught my husband cheated on me. I was so down that time and decided to end our marriage and it triggers more when I discovered that he is not capable of giving me a baby - sterile.

Then my lover came into my life. He was my office mate and we are good friends. Until one day I was drunk, unaware of the situation he used me. I was so furious when I walk up and confronted him. He admitted that he likes me and wanted to continue of what we have started. We are so in love that we even plan for our future like putting up business together.

Just recently he was caught by his wife and read all my messages for him. He said we will end our relationship And asked me if we can still be friends and move on. I declined and I don't want to communicate with him anymore but he is begging and he said if I choose not to be friends with we will lost our contact forever.

Still so fresh and I'm still hurting. I am sick right now , I cannot eat anything for 3 days now and cannot report to work as well. Please tell me what to do. I know I did wrong and loved the wrong person but I still love him.

Please advise, I want to move on now and accept him as a friend. What to do...

[Alty]

"He was my office mate and we are good friends. Until one day i was drunk, unaware of the situation he used me. I was so furious when i walk up and confronted him. "

This quote from you says a lot. I wish I could put it in quote mode, but for some reason I no longer have that option. Must be a glitch with the site. :(

You sound like you want to play victim. He seduced you, you were drunk, but hey, why not start an affair? But it was all his fault. It wasn't. You're not taking any of the blame, not really.

You apologize for what you did, but I don't think you really take responsibility for what you did. Like I said, the above quote says a lot.

Until you accept that screwing someone else, even if your husband cheated, isn't okay, isn't right, and being drunk doesn't make you not guilty, especially if you continued to have sex with him when you sobered up, you'll continue to have bad relationships.

You have to take responsibility for your own actions, and stop blaming others. You cheated because you wanted to, not because your husband cheated, and not because you were drunk and someone took advantage of you. Start accepting that you have a problem, get help for that problem, and then move on and hopefully have a healthy relationship. Until then, you'll continue doing what you have done, and you'll continue to feel like you're feeling now.

Good luck.