Check out some similar questions!

oneoneone · Dec 7, 2012, 03:41 PM

My husband has recently found out that the man he thought was his father is actually not his biological father.
My husband is 37 years old so this has come as some shock to him.
He has since been in touch with his biological father and his biological grandmother and they are building their relationship.
My husband is having a lot of emotional issues with trying to deal with this as his mother wasn't the one who told him it was another family member, and to make matters worse it now appears that everyone except my husband knew about it.
When he first approached his mother with the news she denied it.
His mother has since admitted it and they have had a few heated conversations about it, they are talking but my husband is having a lot of trouble dealing with the feeling of betrayal, loss of identity and feeling as though he was the family joke.
He says he has lost all respect for his mother and step father and is struggling with how he will get through xmas knowing that he is going to see them.
I would like to know what help is available as he is refusing to see a counsellor and I am not sure how to help him.

deville p · Dec 8, 2012, 07:44 PM

His mother was wrong but he needs to still love her. Forgive, life is to short. That news is very hard on everybody . God bless y'all!

Alty · Dec 8, 2012, 08:35 PM

His mother made a mistake, but she's only human. I think it would benefit him a lot if he could talk to his mom, without the anger and resentment, and find out why she told this lie. I'm sure there's a reason behind it.

He has to understand that even moms aren't perfect. We make mistakes. This was a big one, but did it ruin his life? Did he have a good childhood?

If he had known, would he be where he is now? His life would have been different. He may not even be with you, since everything that happens in our lives, leads us to where we are at this moment.

He should be thankful to his step father for taking on the role of his father, when it's obvious that the man that's his biological father, only stepped up to the plate when he was confronted. Mom isn't the only one to blame in all of this. And blaming is frankly a waste of time, and emotion.