[chillguy26]

Hey people I need some advice.

I am 26 and have been talking to a very attractive young lady of 23 that I met through a friend. We started hanging out and seeing each other every weekend and would talk everyday when we had the time. We were really taking things slow and it seemed like we were getting to know each other. Two months went by and things were still very good. Her grandmother had been sick and that would be all that we talked about. Her grandmother eventually passed away of cancer of who she seemed very close to. I went to the funeral home to pay my respects and have tried to stay in touch with but she seems extra distant. When I asked where our relationship was going two weeks later she explains that she is still focusing on getting over her grandmother's passing. I don't want to be pushy with her at this time but I would think she would at least want to speak occasionally. Not sure what to do but sit back on this one and give her space. The problem is that her birthday is around the corner and I am not sure if I should get her a card or just leave her alone. Any advice? Thanks

[kristynn]

Hey, nothing seems wrong to me in this case. You seem to care about her but although you say you don't want to be "pushy", to me, you seem like you're kind of pushy. She needs space, give her that, yet still keep in touch. Call her once in a while to see how she's doing, but don't call her everyday or so. If she's being distant and to you, your relationship seemed to be OK before her grandma passed away, then her being distant has nothing to do with you.

It's her birthday soon... great! It would probably be a nice occasion to cheer her up a little bit, yet again, don't be "pushy". I very well said, a little bit. She definitely seems to have a hard time getting over her grandma but she also needs to know that life goes on no matter what. She'll realize that sooner or later... When she will, she'll get in touch with you. You just need to be patient. Meanwhile, show her that you care, that you support her, that you'll be there for her, and most of all that you respect the fact that she needs some time and space to get over that unfortunate event.

Sure, get her a card for her birthday... Why not? Something simple. Add some nice words there, something that might give her a little bit of courage.

Again, be patient and understanding and everything should be okay. She'll have to get over it and she'll want to hang out with you during the week-end again. I honestly don't consider this a "lost cause".

I hope this helps.

[alanalov]

Good advice