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smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 10:37 AM

Dear Friends,
It's a v strange story and I need your advice.
I'm 27, my girlfriend is 24. We want to get married but her parents are not agreeing. Now the problem goes as..
It was suppose to be a arrange marriage as we met first time with families. I had asked for time 5-6 days so that I can think and say yes. When we spoke for 10 days I said yes and her parents said no as kundli [birth chart] was not matching. Now I fell in love. I have tried many times through her to convince her parents but thy are adamant. One more prob is her father is step father so she can nt go against him. Mother is little superstitious. Its been 3 months and we love each other like mad but she can't take against step. I have agreed my parents. Thy are OK.

Day after is her roka [engagement] ceremony with somebody... what should I do? :(

Smashy

Wondergirl · Nov 13, 2012, 10:48 AM

Unless you two are willing to defy parents and even cultural/family expectations, you will have to forget each other, and she will marry someone else. What are you willing to do otherwise?

smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 10:56 AM

Her problem is her father.. he s a step father... if she takes any step against him he will torture her mother... she dsnt love her father... but living only for her mother... I'm thinking to call that guy and say she loves me so please co-operate... in the mean time I wl go and meet her mother.. bz if I will be able to convince her mother, she can manage father.

Wondergirl · Nov 13, 2012, 11:00 AM

Does her future (arranged) husband even know or love her?

smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 11:01 AM

She met him first time today... I think he will understd if I wll say this prob to him.

smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 11:02 AM

But this will be temporary... next time sombody else will come. She has already done this with one previous guy who came to see her

Wondergirl · Nov 13, 2012, 11:02 AM

Yes, I agree. Talk to him first, and then the girl's mother. Let us know what happens.

smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 11:13 AM

Any other suggestion dear?

Wondergirl · Nov 13, 2012, 11:37 AM

How is your girl dealing with this?

smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 11:40 AM

She tries say no to all guys come to see her. But ths tym parents has done it by force. She cries, bas aur kuch nahi...

Wondergirl · Nov 13, 2012, 11:44 AM

I don't know Hindi, so please always write in English.

Your relationship with this girl has been only 3 months? Is that long enough to be sure about each other?

smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 11:46 AM

Oh I'm sorry... she says no to other guys and cries thts all.. but this time parents are forcing a lot... :(

3 months... yes.. we feel like we are made for each other.

Wondergirl · Nov 13, 2012, 11:48 AM

Talk to the other guy and her mother, and then we will discuss what happened and think of new strategies, if there are any.

smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 11:49 AM

Yes. I will do this.. please think what else I can do?

Thnk you so much dear :)

Abhimanyu Pudi · Nov 13, 2012, 03:20 PM

Bhai, agar uska pappa samaj nahi pa rahe hai though aur kuch solution nahi hai. Aap dono ke beech mein agar sache pyaar hai tho(ye aap dono ko hi pata hai) shayad ghar se bahar aana hi sahi hoga.

Vaise bhi aapke girlfriend ko mom ki pareshani though hai. Isliye bas uske mom ko convince karo aur shaadi ki thayari karo.

Shayad aap ko malum hoga ki friends ki bahot zarurat hai. All the best!!

Wondergirl · Nov 13, 2012, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by Abhimanyu Pudi

Bhai, agar uska pappa samaj nahi pa rahe hai tho aur kuch solution nahi hai. Aap dono ke beech mein agar sache pyaar hai tho(ye aap dono ko hi pata hai) shayad ghar se bahar aana hi sahi hoga.

Vaise bhi aapke gf ko mom ki pareshani tho hai. Isliye bas uske mom ko convince karo aur shaadi ki thayari karo.

Shayad aap ko malum hoga ki friends ki bahot zarurat hai. All the best!!!

Hey, that's not fair!! Now you're going to have to teach me Hindi! Reminds me of my grandparents who sometimes spoke German to each other in front of us kids so we wouldn't know what they were talking about.

Abhimanyu Pudi · Nov 13, 2012, 04:02 PM

Hahaha... I used Hindi just to give him my original voice. I thought he also might well feel native.
There's nothing like what your grandparents did!!

Wondergirl · Nov 13, 2012, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Abhimanyu Pudi -- Bhai, agar uska pappa samaj nahi pa rahe hai though aur kuch solution nahi hai. Aap dono ke beech mein agar sache pyaar hai tho(ye aap dono ko hi pata hai) shayad ghar se bahar aana hi sahi hoga.

Vaise bhi aapke girlfriend ko mom ki pareshani though hai. Isliye bas uske mom ko convince karo aur shaadi ki thayari karo.

Shayad aap ko malum hoga ki friends ki bahot zarurat hai.

I wrestled a translation from you --

"If her father really is a great problem, then there isn't any solution unless you both want to quit your families (at least for now). Do this only if you both purely and sincerely love each other.

However, your girlfriend has a concern for her mother. So, probably you must ask her mother's permission before arranging your marriage. You probably need your friends' help on this."

smashy85 · Nov 13, 2012, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I wrestled a translation from you --

"If her father really is a great problem, then there isn't any solution unless you both want to quit your families (at least for now). Do this only if you both purely and sincerely love each other.

However, your girlfriend has a concern for her mother. So, probably you must ask her mother's permission before arranging your marriage. You probably need your friends' help on this."

Guys I want to meet her mom, bz she s going to decide for her. But she is superstitious. I wl talk to his father also.

I just spoke to that guy on phone as in I am a job recruiter. Took his no, Gave it to my girlfriend. Now she will talk to him like she wants some time. She can't say no as her parents are forcing too much.

I hope that guy understand this.