[Cali1_2]

Met this girl about three years go. I was in a relationship at the time but was instantly attracted to her. I found out she was in a pretty serious relationship but we became really good friends and it was up until about two months ago that things began to change. We started hanging out more, having a ton of fun and I noticed that I was starting to develop feelings for this girl... strong feelings. The more time we spent together the stronger they got. It got to a point about a month ago where I could not hold it in any longer. Keep in mind that this girl has been with her boyfriend for multiple years so I was really nervous about confronting her about my feelings. After much thought I decided that I could not hold it in any longer and told her. She was taken by surprise and did not deny that she had some feelings for me as well however she was really happy with her boyfriend. We agreed to remain friends and carry on as we had been doing, while I had to somehow cope with the fact that I could not be with her. We continued to hang out, and ever since I told her my feelings, things have gotten crazy wild between us. Long story short, it turns out she has very strong feelings for me and is extremely conflicted since she also loves her boyfriend. I am torn onn what to do. Do I back off out of respect and hope she chooses me? Or do I fight for something that I feel so strongly about risking that I lose her all together...

[Wannabecountry]

I think you should definitely back off and let her choose. If you love this girl you will trust her to make the right choice. Don't try to pressure her into anything. I know you would really love to be with her right away but she will need time to think this over.

[mikki821]

Well before anything happends between you to (if it does) dump your girl friend and boy friends. Then if your really like each other then I say go for it

[Cali1_2]

I think you should definitely back off and let her choose. if you love this girl you will trust her to make the right choice. Don't try to pressure her into anything. I know you would really love to be with her right away but she will need time to think this over.

I agree. I guess my next question would what is the best way to back off without losing her as a friend? Do we not talk? Not hang out? I would never pressure her into anything or give her an ultimatum but since she is literally one of my best friends, losing contact would be really hard. Your opinion on this would be much appreciated. Thanks!

[Wannabecountry]

No I don't mean you should break off contact with her but don't get all touchy feely or try to kiss her or anything like that. It's totally fine if you want to just hang out but I would recommend hanging out in public like for example the movies the mall stuff like. Don't go to each others houses or her boyfriend might get suspicious and dump her and she would hate you for that. No girl likes to be dumped for something they didn't even do.

[Cali1_2]

No I don't mean you should break off contact with her but don't get all touchy feely or try to kiss her or anything like that. It's totally fine if you wanna just hang out but I would recommend hanging out in public like for example the movies the mall stuff like. don't go to each others houses or her boyfriend might get suspicious and dump her and she would hate you for that. No girl likes to be dumped for something they didn't even do.

Thanks. Yeah I agree. Ultimately it is up to her and hopefully now that she knows how I feel she can think about everything and make the right decision that's best for her.

Thanks for the advice and input.

[Wannabecountry]

No problem :) let me know how it goes and just remember if for some reason she doesn't choose you than you should take that as a sign that it wasn't meant to be. I know it will feel impossible but you will eventually get over her and find someone else. :) good luck.