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gracefaith · Oct 15, 2012, 06:29 AM

When most people say their boyfriend haa no sex drive they are attributing it to a new job or work or stress but , other than some money stress , my boyfriend has NONE of those things. He has most days off. I am not worried about his attraction to me as he has always been very attracted to me before and (not to blow my horn here or anything) I am a part time model and lingerie model and a yoga teacher so I'm pretty fit. He not only doesn't gk after me for sex but he outright rejects me when I make moves on him , maybe 4-6 times per week. Does anyone know what his deal is?? Its driving me crazy

teacherjenn4 · Oct 15, 2012, 06:32 AM

Was your relationship always like this?

gracefaith · Oct 15, 2012, 07:00 AM

No , never. We just moved in together 4 months ago and this has been a problem for maybe 3 months now. We've been together for 2 years. He's always had healthy sex drive. I've talked to him about it but he says I'm "needy" and just have to "get used to it" but its insulting and my needs aren't met

Cat1864 · Oct 15, 2012, 10:11 AM

when most people say their boyfriend haa no sex drive they are attributing it to a new job or work or stress but , other than some money stress , my boyfriend has NONE of those things. He has most days off. I am not worried about his attraction to me as he has always been very attracted to me before and (not to blow my horn here or anything) I am a part time model and lingerie model and a yoga teacher so I'm pretty fit. He not only doesn't gk after me for sex but he outright rejects me when I make moves on him , maybe 4-6 times per week. does anyone know what his deal is?? Its driving me crazy

Originally Posted by gracefaith

no , never. we just moved in together 4 months ago and this has been a problem for maybe 3 months now. We've been together for 2 years. He's always had healthy sex drive. ive talked to him about it but he says I'm "needy" and just have to "get used to it" but its insulting and my needs aren't met

Being stressed over anything can cause a person's libido to suffer. You know that he has some stress due to finances. What you may not see or be fully aware of is any stress he has due to the amount of work he has, interactions with friends and family, etc. Moving in together and learning to live with someone adds its own stress to a relationship.

Pressure to have sex is a major 'libido limiter' that can turn into a 'libido killer'.

How was your sex life before you moved in together? What were your expectations for what your sex life would be like after the move? How often is he wanting sex? Does he show affection or intimacy in other ways? Do you think he should be your only form of sexual release/gratification?

In your posts I see a theme of you wanting to get your needs met, but I don't see where you have tried to understand what his needs are or how you can work together. When you talk to him about the issue are you asking about why there is a change and what he thinks or are you telling him it isn't enough and putting him on the defensive? You may find it 'insulting' when he says you are 'needy', but that may be how he is feeling. Try talking to him again. This time make certain that you both are willing to talk and listen. He should feel safe to say what he thinks. Try not to become defensive if he says something you might think is 'insulting'. Instead ask what he means or why he thinks what he does. Be open to finding a compromise.