[granski]

My daughter became pregnant "date rape" at 19, did not want to charge the father,returned home from college to see pregnancy through, was going to put baby up for adoption but had baby 7 weeks early and we decided to keep her, I promised to help take care of baby and daughter and daughter could continue school and live at home where I could help. Later daughter married, moved away, but that failed and they moved in with me again. My daughter later found a job in another city and they moved away but my grandaughter was almost held back in school as mom was not attending to her studies (I was from afar), then my daughter lost her job and I offered to care for my grandaughter while her mom looked for a new job. Grandaughter has been with me ever since (three years) Meanwhile my daughter became pregnant again and lives with that babie's father.She rarely calls her first daughter, and when she visits she is rude and disrespectful to me. I have bailed her out of many financial situations. I made a commitment to my grandaughter and will stand by that, and love her dearly, though she feels abandoned by her mom. I don't understand the treatment I receive from my dauaghtr when she visits. She rarely calls her first daughger and is spoiling #2. They live in Los Anageles and work in Hollywood where their reality is not the same as ours... I love them all but my focus is my first grandaughter, and keeping a great job and trying to maintain a relationshiop for myself with someone who is supportive of me but does not understand the behavior of my daughter. I know I am an enabler but have no idea how to fix this and at this point only want what is best for my grandaugher who is 12 and more mature and level headed than the rest of this. I am 62 and will probably have to work until at least 68 to see my daughter through high school before I can have my own live back.. It's all fine until I am around my daughter who treats my like a servant / no respect, and can't even make her bed when she visits. Tired of being a doormat but unclear of how to change without losing them all... help!