[cardinals8620]

Oh my where do I start? This is going to be long so I apologize in advance. Well I am a senior in high school and I had a 2 month relationship with my ex that lasted from May to July. Not a long time, I know, but I really liked her and I thought that she was perfect in every way. She obviously felt differently, because she dumped me. We just had too many differences. We never ever fought or were really mad at each other except for one time. She got upset with me because I wasn't very talkative around her family. Then a few days later I was under a lot of stress thinking about college and also because I was going to go to football tryouts the next day for the first time. (I was going to try out football to try and impress her, even though I hate the sport). This stress led to me having a bit of a breakdown in front of her. I didn't get mad or cry or anything, but I was visibly upset. Two days later, I quit football and was finally feeling better again. I wanted to go out with her and as we were together I could tell that something was wrong. She was very quiet, and I asked her what was up. She said that she was just thinking about the events that happened previously, with my breakdown and me being quiet around her family. I apologized to her and tried to make her feel better because I knew that she was considering dumping me. The next three weeks we only saw each other three times because I went on vacation. I was scared to death but after our first date things seemed to be better, so I stopped worrying. On our second date, the fourth of July, things seemed okay too. But during these two dates we were out in public around people, so I couldn't make out with her. When things went well we could happily make out for hours at a time. So then came the movie date. We watched a movie together and we kissed, but I could tell that she didn't want to kiss me. Once the movie ended, I asked her what was wrong. She said that she felt like over the last month we had been acting more like friends, and I asked her what we could do to fix that, and that's when she said that we couldn't. When she dumped me I didn't hold back. I cried in front of her and basically pleaded with her for a while before accepting it. I was horrendously depressed, and she honestly seemed to have cared less. I cared about her way more than she did about me. I wanted to be together for sooo much longer than two little months. When she dumped me she said the typical "we can still be friends" line, but at the time I knew that she was sincere because she was always a very honest person. The next day I made the mistake of texting her, asking her if we could talk about our future as friends. She said that she needed some space, and to wait a week, and I apologized for my mistake. About two weeks later I texted her asking her to talk, and she happily agreed to come pick me up and go for a walk. We talked about why we broke up and I briefly defended the reasons I acted different than the guy who she first had a crush on. We agreed to still be friends and we even planned out a day to go hiking. We went hiking a couple of weeks later, July 30, and talked about a lot of things. Some things that came up were if we were talking to anybody else, and we both weren't. Anyway, the hike seemed to have went well, and I was happy to still be friends with her. I texted her that night thanking her for hanging out with me, and I said that I didn't know if she would want to hang out in the future, but I would like to. The response that I received was not what I was hoping for. She said that she wasn't sure about hanging out so soon since we had just broken up a few weeks ago. I told her that we didn't have a nasty breakup or anything, and it's not like we ever got really serious, so I didn't understand. She said that she didn't want feelings to come back and one of us to get hurt. Then for whatever reason I made what I am guessing is my big mistake. I sent her a long text about how I was depressed over the summer and how it was probably not the best for us to hang out until I got my head straight (because her careless attitude toward me was what was making me so sad). After this she happily agreed and said that she thought we could be friends again, but time was needed. I texted her back saying that I didn't want her to think that I had issues or something, and that I was just having a bad last few months. She then said "I believe you.This is going to be my last text. I know you are a great guy and we will be friends one day but I think that time is really needed at the moment. I wish you all the best! See you in school." I replied saying thank you and yep see you.

Now here is where my current dilemma comes into play. We didn't make any contact with each other after that text until school started. SHE IS IN MY FIFTH AND SIXTH HOURS. This would not be a big deal if it wasn't for the way that she is acting. On the first day of school she walked into fifth hour, where she has a ton of friends (and I don't) and didn't say anything to me. To be fair I had my face hidden as I was visibly uncomfortable, for some reason, seeing her. I walked into sixth hour and she was walking by the door as I walked in. She saw me and smiled at me, and I gave her a half hearted wave because I was pissed that she ignored me in the previous hour. Then that was it. The next day: no contact. Then the next day I made another mistake. I caught up with her in the hallway and started a short conversation with her. I could tell that she was uncomfortable. I didn't understand why, but I decided after that that she didn't want to talk to me. I was right. It has now been a little over a month and she refuses to talk to me. If her and I are the first people in the room, she will walk out to, I am guessing, "get a drink of water." If I walk one way in the hallway, she will do whatever she can to avoid crossing paths with me. We have fifth and sixth hour together, so this makes me extremely uncomfortable and upset. Over the last month I have done my best to act confident around her, ignore her, and act like she is irrelevant to me, because she clearly does not want to talk to me. Also she flirts with a guy in sixth hour. To be fair this guy is known to be a big flirt, and she is a very social person.

WHEW! So anyway here are the questions that I am hoping somebody can help answer for me.

1. Why is she acting like this? What did I say or do? Could it have to do with this being her first ever breakup and she is not sure what to do, or did I scare her somehow?

2. Am I doing the right thing by ignoring her and flirting with other girls as much as I can without it looking like I am trying to make her mad ( she flirted with the boy in sixth hour before I started flirting with girls).

3. Will we ever talk again? I mean I just want to go back to the way things were before we dated. Obviously it won't be exactly the same but I find it pointless to ignore each other.

4. Sometimes, and this may be wishful thinking, I think that she glances over at me in class. If you had to guess, what is she thinking right now? She is pretty carefree and acts happy as ever, and the breakup wasn't a big deal to her, so does she just not give a damn about me? I mean if she could care less about me then why does she go out of her way to avoid me?

5. Should I break the no contact? She may be as uncomfortable as I am, and she may be waiting for me to talk to her just like I am waiting for her to talk to me. On the other hand, she may just not want to talk to me at all, and maybe I should continue to respect that and leave her alone like I have been?

6. We see each other in our last two hours, at the gym after school sometimes, and soon we will be in a school club together. This isn't a question but I figured I would throw it in there.

7. I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THAT I AM FULLY OVER HER, BUT I DO NOT WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HER. I JUST HATE THE AWKWARDNESS IN Class. IT BOTHERS THE HELL OUT OF ME, AND I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS.


All right guys I know that this is a HUGE question but I really needed to get this off my chest and I could desperately use some expert advise from some knowledgeable people. Thanks in advance to anybody who can help me out here.

[C0bra_M3nace]

1. Why is she acting like this? What did I say or do? Could it have to do with this being her first ever breakup and she is not sure what to do, or did I scare her somehow?

She's doing what you're supposed to do during a breakup. NO CONTACT. It makes moving on easier, maybe you should start doing it too.

2. Am I doing the right thing by ignoring her and flirting with other girls as much as I can without it looking like I am trying to make her mad ( she flirted with the boy in sixth hour before I started flirting with girls).

Yes ignore her, but don't flirt with girls just to try and get back at her.

3. Will we ever talk again? I mean I just want to go back to the way things were before we dated. Obviously it won't be exactly the same but I find it pointless to ignore each other.

No, your friendship should be over. Permanently. It's very hard to be friends with an ex because you stir up old feelings.

4. Sometimes, and this may be wishful thinking, I think that she glances over at me in class. If you had to guess, what is she thinking right now? She is pretty carefree and acts happy as ever, and the breakup wasn't a big deal to her, so does she just not give a damn about me? I mean if she could care less about me then why does she go out of her way to avoid me?

My god you're hopeless. She's trying to get over you, and you should be trying to get over her. Stop thinking about her and stop wondering and filling your mind with "what if's" and just move on already. She should be none of your concern anymore.

5. Should I break the no contact? She may be as uncomfortable as I am, and she may be waiting for me to talk to her just like I am waiting for her to talk to me. On the other hand, she may just not want to talk to me at all, and maybe I should continue to respect that and leave her alone like I have been?

Leave her alone. For good. The more you talk and think and look at her the harder you're making it for the both of you to move on. Respect her and yourself and give it up.


7. I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THAT I AM FULLY OVER HER, BUT I DO NOT WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HER. I JUST HATE THE AWKWARDNESS IN CLAS. IT BOTHERS THE HELL OUT OF ME, AND I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS.

Too bad. You two decided to go out and it didn't work. It's not going to be any different a second time around so stop kidding yourself. If you wanted her to be a friend then you should have stayed friends. Intimate relationships ruin friendships.

Move on with your life. Stop hanging yourself up over a 2 month relationship.