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Aphrodite1262 · Sep 6, 2012, 10:36 AM

So basically I have been cheating on my boyfriend with a 1 other guy for about 7 months now. I really like the guy but I also love my boyfriend. I did tell my boyfriend about this other guy and he told me that he didn't mind and to do whatever makes me happiest. So I continued. Well now I just feel like this isn't right.. like maybe we should break up or something. But he does't want to break up and neither do I but something isn't sitting right with me.

Im sure he's not cheating, his mind is just somewhere else, but ignoring my wants and needs isn't right either. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Wondergirl · Sep 6, 2012, 10:38 AM

You want your boyfriend to object to this side fling and to ask you to give up the other guy as a proof that he really loves you, right?

Aphrodite1262 · Sep 6, 2012, 10:42 AM

Not exactly.. I would be perfectly fine if he wanted to break up with me. That would be the ideal situation. But he wants to continue the relationship. Isn't that weird? Why would he want to be with a woman who is seeing someone else on the side?

Wondergirl · Sep 6, 2012, 10:50 AM

So the million dollar question is, which guy do you want to be with?

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 6, 2012, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite1262

Not exactly.. I would be perfectly fine if he wanted to break up with me. That would be the ideal situation. But he wants to continue the relationship. Isn't that weird? Why would he want to be with a woman who is seeing someone else on the side?

Does he know that you are intimate with this other man? There are people out there who practice "open relationships" which involves two partners who can fool around with other people. I do recall there being a show where a man is married to 4 other women? So it's really not a weird as you may think.

Looks like you might have to do the breaking up yourself if you want out then.

Aphrodite1262 · Sep 6, 2012, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So the million dollar question is, which guy do you want to be with?

Well I guess I don't know. The other guy really makes me happy, and so does my boyfriend. But honestly I think me and my boyfriend would make better friends than anything. We have an amazing friendship and that's why I feel weird about doing this. So maybe I should break up with him even if he feels like me cheating is OK.

Aphrodite1262 · Sep 6, 2012, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

Does he know that you are intimate with this other man? There are people out there who practice "open relationships" which involves two partners who can fool around with other people. I do recall there being a show where a man is married to 4 other women? So it's really not a weird as you may think.

Looks like you might have to do the breaking up yourself if you want out then.

Yea we agreed to have an open relationship 4 years ago when we 1st started dating. But after the 1st year we fell in love and decided that we wanted to be exclusive to each other. But now its not working. And I don't know if I want the open relationship anymore, id rather be single and see whoever I want for now. But since he is OK with me doing this, why do I feel so bad about it?

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 6, 2012, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite1262

Yea we agreed to have an open relationship 4 years ago when we 1st started dating. But after the 1st year we fell in love and decided that we wanted to b exclusive to each other. But now its not working. and idk if i want the open relationship anymore, id rather b single and see whoever i want for now. But since he is ok with me doing this, y do i feel so bad about it?

Well, there's a few reasons you could feel bad about it. I think the reason here is that you know he's not doing the same? I think deep down you know you're the only one in the relationship going "open", so naturally your conscience is kicking in to let you know you're not doing something right. My guess is as good as yours.

Aphrodite1262 · Sep 6, 2012, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

Well, there's a few reasons why you could feel bad about it. I think the reason here is that you know he's not doing the same? I think deep down you know you're the only one in the relationship going "open", so naturally your conscience is kicking in to let you know you're not doing something right. My guess is as good as yours.

HMM! I think you hit it on the head. The fact that I'm the only one in the relationship going "open" is what's upsetting me.

Thanks! I think now I know where to tackle this monster.

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 6, 2012, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite1262

HMM!! I think you hit it on the head. The fact that i'm the only one in the relationship going "open" is whats upsetting me.

THANX! I think now I know where to tackle this monster.

Best of luck to the both of you!

ArmstrongMiller · Sep 6, 2012, 07:34 PM

Hello, I think you need to have a overall communication with your boyfriend to know what's his real thoughts. Good luck.