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Homegirl 50 · Sep 4, 2012, 01:38 PM

She didn't knock on the door and come get him, there were signals going out. He could have said no and he didn't. Why were you two dating for so long and no marriage?

Lostmybff · Sep 4, 2012, 01:46 PM

Yes, he could have said no... and YES he is the first to blame.. We weren't married yet because my kids go to school in a different school district than where he lives & his house is the one we wanted to live in. (Ha! Isn't that ironic?) My one graduated & I have one more who is in 10th grade. We were getting down to the wire... He also has 2 kids.. one is in college the other graduates High School this year. We always just figured when my son went to college we would sell or rent my house & I would move in with him.. THEN we would get married. Neither one of us worried too much about that because both of us were married before. He did get me a ring 2 years ago. But that was just more a symbol of our commitment... Look how that turned out right?

JudyKayTee · Sep 4, 2012, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by Lostmybff

... is in college the other graduates High School this year. We always just figured when my son went to college we would sell or rent my house & I would move in with him..THEN we would get married. Neither one of us worried to much about that because both of us were married. He did get me a ring 2 years ago. But that was just more a symbol of our commitment...Look how that turned out right?

I thought you lived in his house, drove his car(s)? "He owns the house I live in (bought it 5 years ago) He bought it because it was bigger than the previous house I was in and we said when my kids were grown we would sell it or rent it."

Why aren't you returning the car(s) to him, breaking free?

"I also drive one of his cars. My daughter needed a car to get back and forth to work so he gave me one of his. (he has 3 cars and a truck) He told me to keep the car and the house that we would keep things the way they were if I wanted to."

Homegirl 50 · Sep 4, 2012, 01:57 PM

I think he had it pretty good and maybe wanted to add to the mix. I could be wrong but I would not be surprise if this was not his first indiscretion

Lostmybff · Sep 4, 2012, 01:57 PM

Yes, I do... I live one of the houses he owns. I drive a car he owns... he bought the house for me... he bought the car for me... he told me NOT to worry about either one. So I'm going to get my finances straight and if we don't make it back to each other I will be prepared to move. Its only been a month! The first 2 weeks I was devastated and he's been playing this game! I looked at a place last week I'm hoping to buy myself I just need to make sure I can afford it on my own! As far as the car goes.. thats not a big deal. I'll get one when I have to. He doesn't owe anything on it. I've been driving it since he bought it! My biggest mistake so far was sleeping with him yesterday!!

Homegirl 50 · Sep 4, 2012, 01:58 PM

I think breaking cleanly away from him is a good idea.

Lostmybff · Sep 4, 2012, 01:59 PM

I'm not sure it was his first indiscretion either... I think this started 6-8 months ago when he started changing the way he treated me, his kids, my kids, EVERYONE! We all noticed it... I just thought it was a phase... little did I know! How blind I was!

JudyKayTee · Sep 4, 2012, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by Lostmybff

I'm not sure it was his first indiscretion either...I think this started 6-8 months ago when he started changing the way he treated me, his kids, my kids, EVERYONE! We all noticed it...I just thought it was a phase...little did I know! How blind I was!

Don't beat yourself up - it is NOT your fault.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 4, 2012, 04:03 PM

That's right! Don't beat yourself up over this. You know better, now do better.
I wish you well.