[momasgirl44]

I'm only 13 and I'm dealing with the loss of my mom. She was only 42 and very strong. My dad was never in the picture just me my mom and my brother, My brother barley talks to anyone anymore. And I moved in with my moms brother. Everyone tells me how strong I am and how well I'm dealing with this loss. Though I'm not dealing with it well. I'm not able to sleep at night and I just lay in my bed and cry and cry and cry. I'm not comfertable with talking to a lot of people only one or two. What can I do to help me get over this? And she has only been gone for a month... today has marked her one month death.

[JudyKayTee]

I wanted to add that it's important that you take care of yourself, give yourself permission to grieve, make sure you are eating properly (and I realize food tastes like sawdust), get as much rest as you can, soak in a bubblebath if that makes you feel better.

I found that remembering helped me - telling people about my late husband, remembering things we did, things he said.

Months after he died a neighbor came over for coffee and we sat quietly - I hadn't laughed, let alone smiled, since he died. She asked if I would mind if she talked about him. I, of course, did not. She told a funny story, something that had happened, something that had made me laugh, something that he did and later laughed at. I smiled and then I laughed for the very first time - at first I felt guilty about laughing when he was gone and then I realized that as long as we remembered, as long as we talked about him, he was with me in a way.

Would you like to share something about your mother?

And remember - some day you will marry and have children and they will know your mother through your eyes, through your stories, what you remember, and you will "see" her in them. My husband's one daughter has many of his mannerisms and I see him in her all the time.

EDIT: What happened to my original post?

[Alty]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Have you considered talking to a grief counselor? When I lost my parents counseling helped me a great deal. One of the things the counselor suggested for me to do was to start a journal, writing letters to my parents, telling them the things I'd be telling them if there were still here.

Writing that journal helped me a lot. It's been 11 years now, and I still write in that journal from time to time, when there's something I really want to tell my mom and dad.

You'll always miss your mom, the pain of losing her will never completely go away. But, the pain will diminish some, and you will one day be able to smile again, especially when you remember something about her.

I'm sure your mother would want you to go on with your life, become the best person you can be. Make her proud.

[JudyKayTee]

For whatever reason my original post asking that this be moved to bereavement has vanished!

I wanted to add to the OP that I don't know if she's religious or spiritual but other people have posted that during tough times they can sense the presence of their loved one. It has happened to me four times total - exactly four times in the past year. Four times when I sensed his presence, smelled his cologne, just knew he was nearby.

And I'm not a believer!

[Alty]

Judy, I've been there too, and I'm also not religious.

One night I woke up from a nightmare, shortly after my dad had passed away. I opened my eyes and he was there beside me. I thought I was dreaming, until Indy jumped on the bed. He sensed something too, because he never jumped on the bed without permission.