[princess messi]

Heartache.. Woooow you know how I feel I'm sorry because you are in the same phase :( I can't stop thinking abou him he's killing me

[Alty]

Alty you are a nice person nice to know you care about me even you don't know me :( i need you by my side can you do that 4 me im so scared to do any thing because im thinking to cut my hand >email address removed according to site rules<

I can't email you, that's against the rules of this site, but I will be here on this site to help you. I can't be her 24/7, but whenever you want to talk, post here, and when I see it I'll post right away, I promise you that.

There are great people on this site, and all of them are here to help you, if you give them a chance. But most of all, you have to give yourself a chance.

I promise you that suicide isn't the answer. I will tell you that I considered suicide a few times in my life. I went through, and still struggle with, depression. Had I not gotten through, not fought against the feelings that I wanted to end things, I wouldn't be here talking to you. I wouldn't be married to the wonderful man I'm married to. I wouldn't have my two beautiful children. I can't say that the world would be worse if I wasn't in it, but I do know it would be worse for the people that love me, and those that I love. Heck, my children wouldn't exist. That's a big deal.

You were given this life, and it's yours, what you make of it is your choice. There will be struggles, we all face them. Giving up is easy. In fact, it's so very easy to sit back and say "I'm done". Getting up, dusting yourself off, finding a way to deal with the struggles you're going through, that takes a lot of strength.

You came to this site for a reason. I know that you posted that you wanted to know how to end things, but really, your question was a cry for help, your way of saying that you're in a hard spot, but that you want to get out of it. In other words, you have the strength you need to get through this. You already took the first big step, and that's reaching out for help. Take the next step, the step towards feeling better and getting over this hurdle.

You may not think you can do it, but I know you can! You can, and you will.

[Alty]

Heartache .. Woooow you know how i feel im sorry because you are in the same phase :( i can't stop thinking abou him he's killing me

Does he deserve that power? I don't think he does. How great can he be? He doesn't deserve you, and he definitely doesn't deserve to be given the power to ruin your life, or end it. Does he? Is he worth the best thing you have, your life, you?

You're giving him that power. You have the power to take back what's yours, and your life is definitely yours.

Here's a little something you can do for me, right on this site. Write a list about him. The pros and the cons. Be very honest when you write it, don't let your feelings for him cloud your judgement, view him the way everyone else would.

So, what's so great about him? What are his pros? What's not so great about him? What are his cons? I know he has them, everyone does. So, what do you hate about him, and what do you love?

I'll be back in around an hour to read your list. I have to go out for a bit, but I will be back. Take your time with the list, really give it a lot of thought. :)

[princess messi]

Okkk about the list

First thing that I love about him.

1) he here me
2) protect me
3) make me smile
4)he's like my angel always by my side

Thing that's I hate about him
1) when he dosen't ask about me
2) when he scream on me
3) when he talk to another girl he forget me
4) when he cheating on me
5) make me cry over him

[Alty]

Read the list sweetie.

1) he here me. Hearing and listening are two different things, if he really heard you he wouldn't scream at you or talk to other girls and forget about you.
2) protect me How does he protect you? By cheating on you? That's not protecting you, that's hurting you.
3) make me smile He makes you smile, but it sounds like he spent more time making your upset and making you cry.
4)he's like my angel always by my side But he isn't. Read the things you hate about him.

Thing that's I hate about him
1) when he dosen't ask about me
2) when he scream on me
3) when he talk to another girl he forget me
4) when he cheating on me
5) make me cry over him

The things you like about him, every one of those things are tiny compared to what you hate about him. The things you hate about him are legitimate things.

I'll write my list about my husband, maybe you'll see the difference.

The things I love about my husband.

1. He's supportive of everything I do.
2. He's a wonderful husband and father.
3. He loves animals as much as I do.
4. He's a hard worker.
5. He's my best friend.
6. Whenever I'm sad, he can make me smile.
7. He's never been unfaithful to me.
8. He treats me like I'm the best thing in the world.

The things I hate about my husband.

1. He snores.
2. He leaves his dirty clothes on the floor.
3. He sometimes works too hard.
4. He likes to play xbox.
5. He's a bit messy.


Do you see the difference between my list and yours? The things I love about my husband are real things, things he does every single day. The things I don't like aren't things that will ever hurt me, because someone that loves you would never hurt you.

Your ex, he didn't treat you like someone who loves someone else, would treat you.

Don't you think you deserve someone better than that? I think you do.

[princess messi]

I know the person who make me cry evrey single day doen'd deserve me but how can I forget all the sweet thing we share 2 gather he keep call me he want to be my friend I need my space but I can't tell them that :/

[Alty]

I know the person who make me cry evrey single day doen'd deserve me but how can i forget all the sweet thing we share 2 gather he keep call me he wanna be my friend i need my space but i can't tell them that :/

Have you told him how sad you are, that you're going through a hard time because of him? Have you told him that until he leaves you alone you can't get over him, which is exactly what you need to do?

I really do understand. We all do. We've all been dumped, and had our hearts broken.

But really, you will get over it. You just need to give yourself time and space from him. You also need to go live your life, and make the most of every single day.

[blndsundoll98]

Well first before you even think about that, ask yourself this question
"If i went to hell, would I kill myself?"
Because you may go to hell if you kill yourself and you will get threw this, its not the end of the world enjoy being single, don't jump right into another relationship either that will make you look silly.
If you two where meant to be then fate will bring you back together, if not, then obviously you two were not meant to be and you will find someone else, someone better,

[Alty]

Well first before you even think about that, ask yourself this question
"If i went to hell, would I kill myself?"
because you may go to hell if you kill yourself and you will get threw this, its not the end of the world enjoy being single, dont jump right into another relationship either that will make you look silly.
If you two where meant to be then fate will bring you back together, if not, then obviously you two were not meant to be and you will find someone else, someone better,

I do agree with everything but one point, and that's the part about hell. This isn't the religious forum. We have no idea if the poster is religious or even believes in God, Hell, or any of that. It's best not to assume.

So, until the poster says that she's a believer, please keep God out of it.

[DsprtCfsd]

I promise you that suicide isn't the answer. I will tell you that I considered suicide a few times in my life. I went through, and still struggle with, depression. Had I not gotten through, not fought against the feelings that I wanted to end things, I wouldn't be here talking to you. I wouldn't be married to the wonderful man I'm married to. I wouldn't have my two beautiful children. I can't say that the world would be worse if I wasn't in it, but I do know it would be worse for the people that love me, and those that I love. Heck, my children wouldn't exist. That's a big deal.

Alty has a lot of wisdom in her responses and I'm happy that you are keeping the communication open. I can honestly tell you that what you are feeling and what Alty has described in the quoted piece is not so uncommon. I've been there myself. I used to call it the dark place. My mom was my guiding light out of the dark place when I was a teenager. If it weren't for her I wouldn't be here today. If it was bullies or relationships I was stuck in the dark place.

It wasn't until I was an adult that I understood what I had been living with for a big portion of my life. Depression is not something to be ignored :( I guess it's hereditary in some cases, my mom and I are depression medicine lifers. Add anxiety on top of that and high blood pressure and my medicine cabinet is full (joking :) )

Princess, we are here for you but can you tell me, are you close with your parents, a family member, specific friend or family physician? I have consoled with each of these and they have brought me out of the dark place a many a time. I know it's hard to talk about something like this to others but you need to talk to someone in person so they can hug you and tell you that they love you. You don't even have to mention the decision weighing on your mind. Tell them you are hurting and you need them to help you.

This guy will realize the mistake that he has made eventually (whether it's a week, month, year(s) down the road). You sound like a very caring and loving young woman and you deserve someone that is able to return the love to you.

Please Princess, keep posting your feelings and responses. I'm with Alty, there are more people on this site that will listen to how you are feeling and try to help you through this dark time.

[princess messi]

Have you told him how sad you are, that you're going through a hard time because of him? Have you told him that until he leaves you alone you can't get over him, which is exactly what you need to do?

I really do understand. We all do. We've all been dumped, and had our hearts broken.

But really, you will get over it. You just need to give yourself time and space from him. You also need to go live your life, and make the most of every single day.

First evrey time you comment here you make me smile I don't know why :|

I know that I need my space but he dosen't even care what I need he just care about himself I don't have the power to say stay away from me " ican't take it anymore"

[princess messi]

Well first before you even think about that, ask yourself this question
"If i went to hell, would I kill myself?"
because you may go to hell if you kill yourself and you will get threw this, its not the end of the world enjoy being single, dont jump right into another relationship either that will make you look silly.
If you two where meant to be then fate will bring you back together, if not, then obviously you two were not meant to be and you will find someone else, someone better,

I know that if I killed myself I will be in hell but when someone hopeless he dosen't care or think what's going to happened all I need to end this life :|

[princess messi]

Alty has a lot of wisdom in her responses and I'm happy that you are keeping the communication open. I can honestly tell you that what you are feeling and what Alty has described in the quoted piece is not so uncommon. I've been there myself. I used to call it the dark place. My mom was my guiding light out of the dark place when I was a teenager. If it weren't for her I wouldn't be here today. If it was bullies or relationships I was stuck in the dark place.

It wasn't until I was an adult that I understood what I had been living with for a big portion of my life. Depression is not something to be ignored :( I guess it's hereditary in some cases, my mom and I are depression medicine lifers. Add anxiety on top of that and high blood pressure and my medicine cabinet is full (joking :) )

Princess, we are here for you but can you tell me, are you close with your parents, a family member, specific friend or family physician? I have consoled with each of these and they have brought me out of the dark place a many a time. I know it's hard to talk about something like this to others but you need to talk to someone in person so they can hug you and tell you that they love you. You don't even have to mention the decision weighing on your mind. Tell them you are hurting and you need them to help you.

This guy will realize the mistake that he has made eventually (whether it's a week, month, year(s) down the road). You sound like a very caring and loving young woman and you deserve someone that is able to return the love to you.

Please Princess, keep posting your feelings and responses. I'm with Alty, there are more people on this site that will listen to how you are feeling and try to help you through this dark time.

Really now I feel more comfortable because I find people who really care
About my family in our society and our religion not allowed to be in relationship so I'm alone in that proplem I can't tell thim anything :|
I will keep posting thank you all

[joypulv]

You are still saying you want to end your LIFE. Yet you ignored my cold, practical response about ways to die painlessly. That is a very strong clue to all of us (yes, I did it on purpose) that you want to end the PAIN, not your life. You like Alty's comforting and helpful responses. You are getting the help you want.
The next step is to go back to the friends you have avoided! This is what friends are for! They surround you with love and support, take you places, don't try to cheer you up but drag you everywhere they go - if you just ask them to. Tell them to just let you be depressed for a while, sort of pretend you aren't there. That way you don't have to be the life of the party or even cheerful.
You don't want to lose them. They are what matter through all the failed romances.

[JudyKayTee]

Really now i feel more comfortable because i find people who really care
About my family in our society and our religion not allowed to be in relationship so im alone in that proplem i can't tell thim anything :|
I will keep posting thank you all

So you were dating him in secret ?

[princess messi]

So you were dating him in secret ?

Yes I'm dating him in secret but once my parents know and talk to him his parents know about us but my parents dosen't expect to be in relationship with him

[JudyKayTee]

Yes im dating him in secret but once my parents know and talk to him his parents know about us but my parents dosen't expect to be in relationship with him

I have no idea what this means - you are dating him in secret but if your parents find out they will tell his parents? Your parents know you are friends but don't know you are boyfriend and girlfriend?

So you are both lying to your parents about the relationship?

He cheats on you and in general treats you badly and you are considering killing yourself to teach him a lesson? Sounds like a very bad plan to me. I'm the exception to the rule, I guess. I don't take threats of suicide lightly. A friend of mine killed herself years ago - no one took her seriously. I certainly never thought she was planning suicide.

You need some serious professional help.

[princess messi]

I have no idea what this means - you are dating him in secret but if your parents find out they will tell his parents? Your parents know you are friends but don't know you are boyfriend and girlfriend?

So you are both lying to your parents about the relationship?

He cheats on you and in general treats you badly and you are considering killing yourself to teach him a lesson? Sounds like a very bad plan to me. I'm the exception to the rule, I guess. I don't take threats of suicide lightly. A friend of mine killed herself years ago - no one took her seriously. I certainly never thought she was planning suicide.

You need some serious professional help.

Yeah I need to make him miss me I need to learn him a leason I want to make him sad

[princess messi]

You are still saying you want to end your LIFE. Yet you ignored my cold, practical response about ways to die painlessly. That is a very strong clue to all of us (yes, I did it on purpose) that you want to end the PAIN, not your life. You like Alty's comforting and helpful responses. You are getting the help you want.
The next step is to go back to the friends you have avoided! This is what friends are for! They surround you with love and support, take you places, don't try to cheer you up but drag you everywhere they go - if you just ask them to. Tell them to just let you be depressed for a while, sort of pretend you aren't there. That way you don't have to be the life of the party or even cheerful.
You don't want to lose them. They are what matter through all the failed romances.

But I don't think friends will help because evrey time we meet we talk about him :/

[Wondergirl]

But i don't think friends will help because evrey time we meet we talk about him :/

Tell them his name is off limits, no talking about him ever again.