[MrTurner]

Long story short. My wife of 3 years has cheated on me with 3 different men over the course of our relationship. Now that I have gotten more wise and decided to leave she does not let me see our daughter. Always using the excuse of "i need to know who your with, where your at, etc". While that is understandable to an extent it usually is that she can find out if I'm going to be with anyone not because she truly cares about the well being of our daughter. I have always been faithful, never put our daughter in danger, and have tried to be a very good father.
I should also note that she wanted to work after the pregnancy so that she "wasnt sitting at home alone without friends being depressed that she no longer had any life". So I was the stay at home parent for almost 8 months and STILL provided the main income through a now depleted trust fund.
My main concern is... I do not have a lot of money now, I just want to see my daughter, and I want her mother to allow BOTH of us to do our best at providing our daughter with the life she needs. What is the best ways to go about doing this? Is there something I can cheaply file? What should I be prepared to show the courts? And should I not assume that a custody agreement will work and go ahead with trying to obtain full custody?

[ScottGem]

Have you divorced or is there a legal separation?

You need to get a court to issue or approve a parenting plan or visitation schedule. This schedule will spell out when you get to see your child. If she doesn't adhere to the schedule then you go back to court to find her in contempt

[MrTurner]

Have you divorced or is there a legal separation?

You need to get a court to issue or approve a parenting plan or visitation schedule. This schedule will spell out when you get to see your child. If she doesn't adhere to the schedule then you go back to court to find her in contempt

We have not divorced yet and Iowa only allows legal separation on the grounds of religious beliefs. The divorce itself costs about 1200 dollars so I am saving up for that. However in the mean time I do not want to never see my daughter until that time comes. So how would I begin that process?

[ScottGem]

Who told you it costs about $1200? Generally a no fault divorce costs less than that, but if there is disagreement on asset distribution or child custody, then it cam be more than that.

If IA doesn't allow for a separation, then you will have to file for divorce to get custody settled.

[GV70]

We have not divorced yet and Iowa only allows legal seperation on the grounds of religious beliefs. The divorce itself costs about 1200 dollars so i am saving up for that. However in the mean time i do not want to never see my daughter until that time comes. So how would i begin that process?

Becoming legally separated in Iowa costs the same as getting divorced from the point of view of court fees, and at the end of the process you are still married. It is not true that Iowa only allows separation on the grounds of religious beliefs.
However temporary custody laws in Iowa permit either party to a divorce case the ability to file a motion for temporary custody. In fact, typically one or even both parties to a divorce case file a motion to obtain a series of temporary orders to remain in force during divorce proceedings. These include temporary custody, temporary visitation and temporary support./Chapter 598 of the Iowa Code. /

[MrTurner]

Thank you all! I was able to file a motion along with my divorce papers. However it looks as if I may get full custody, as she is willing to consider this so she can go to college.

[ScottGem]

That's good, but I suspect she may stipulate that once she graduates she gets primary custody again. But even if that happens, if you have had primary for several years, it would be hard for the court to deny you significant visitation.