[fatexoxo]

I broke up with my fiancé because for some time now whenever something is going on with me and I need emotional support I never receive any from him. When he is upset I always comfort him and support him but it is never the same when I need some support. It leaves me feeling very alone and sad. My fiancé is supposed to be the number one person in my life supporting me (as a good partner should). I cannot see myself in a marriage where I always feel alone even when he is right next to me. It breaks my heart because I do love him.

He is a nice person but I need someone who is there for me when I’m both happy or sad. I want a partner in life where I can express my thoughts and feelings openly with him and not feel as if I am on egg shells. I think getting married would be a huge mistake. He is extremely upset with me saying I wanted to break up. I am honestly very hurt. I do not want to end things with him but I feel as if I do not have a choice.

I have spoken to him about my feelings of being alone even when he is near because he doesn’t support me and he said he would change that. He said he may be like that because the marines teach you to not have emotions. Nothing has changed. I guess I just need to know how to cope now. I know people say "stay distracted" "do other things" "go out with friends" but I really don't feel like doing those things I’m so heartbroken.

Has anyone gone through this before? Did I do the best thing? I’m so confused, any encouragement would help. Thank you in advance.

[bigNavySeal]

From the sound of it you made a right choice to get out if there wasn't a solution to your emotional barrier. A courageous thing to do when you were already engaged! How long were you together?

The first few days/weeks after a breakup are HORRIBLE, for whatever reason the breakup happened. You're not alone. Sleepless nights; fear, feelings of loss, state of confusion, loneliness. At work I literally couldn't concentrate on ANYTHING. I surfed askmehelpdesk.com literally from 9am to 6pm to read on suggestions, advice and answers (damn glad my boss wasn't there that week). Sob it out, cry, talk with close friends and family about it, nag them about it, it's OK. After that though, do try and pick yourself up, distract yourself and go out and do things with friends, treat yourself, and try to put things into perspective. Sports and exercise to me really helps. It will get better. Over time you can distance yourself a bit from the relationship and think things over, perhaps try and look for a solution, or when you think it's for the better, move on. Some people suggest No Contact after a break-up, I didn't do it and it felt unnatural for me (we were still on good terms), but the amount of contact you have will certainly drop.

I JUST got out of a 2.5 year serious relationship with my ex-gf, it's been 3 weeks now, so I can share your feelings. The first week was HORRIBLE, after that it gets better. I'm still confused, particularly feelings of loneliness when I am home alone, but I manage to put things in perspective. Time will heal and sort things out. We still talk, and perhaps try to sort things out, but I think it's heading a dead end.

Read the stickies on how to get over breakups under relationships (Relationships - Ask Me Help Desk). They were very helpful for me.

[teacherjenn4]

It will get better. You should give yourself permission to mourn the relationship ending. You did the right thing and it will get easier in time. It hurts now... but a day will come when it will hurt a little less. I feel your pain. Good luck!

[fatexoxo]

We were together since June 10,2011 and we got engaged April 7,2012.Sorry it took me so long to reply I actually forgot about this post. Well an update would be that after I wrote this post he talked me into trying again,I didn't truly want to (it felt wrong) but I hated the thought of hurting him so I did. By August it was over again. My gut instinct kept telling me to run and run fast. You see he would also yell at me on the phone when we disagreed on something. I tried to communicate like mature adults but he would yell "NO NO NO you listen to me!" and talk over me. Breaking up with him is one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I do love him and still do (the non mean side of him), but no one deserves to live their lives on eggshells to avoid being yelled at. Since we broke it off he has called quite a few times over the past few months... I thought maybe he could mature,we both could... but he has only showed me more cruel sides of him. I hope one day he realizes his actions. I hope you are doing better.

[talaniman]

Thanks for the update and sorry it didn't workout, but in time you will be glad you had the courage to do the right thing for yourself despite the strong feelings, and see this as the blessing in disguise it really is.

Good luck.