[fisker]

My ex and I separated in 2008 and divorced in 2010, and at that time I was granted sole physical custody and we had joint legal custody of our two children. Right after the divorce he moved 700 miles away. We did not notify the court.
A year passed and he came out to see his kids and stayed with us for almost a month. During that time we decided that based on the effect the distance was having on the kids and his relationship with them, that I would find a job and relocate to where he was.
He drove back and took the two kids so they could spend their three weeks of summer time with him. I quickly found a job and was set to move. We had agreed since my job offer included hotel housing for 60 days, that the kids could stay with him until I found an apartment near their school. He agreed to enroll them in school.
Our daughter flew back to help me pack up the house and say goodbye to her friends (she was 12). Our son who was 5 stayed with his dad. A week before I was to leave I ended up in the hospital and they discovered something. I needed monitoring and if there was a change it would require surgical intervention or I could die. Based on this I canceled the move and my job took me back. I decided not to move for health insurance reasons and the best surgeon in the country was located near me.
I re enrolled our daughter in school. I talked with my ex who told me that our son had started school and would I consider letting him stay for the school year. At the time I agreed because due to the late timing I could not get him in an aftercare program and I thought it might be a good chance for him to bond with his dad. We did not inform the courts, I didn't get anything in writing that we had done a temporary custody change.
My ex is now seeking to keep our son based on the fact that he has remarried and his new wife stays at home and can take care of our son. In the papers he served me he stated that my job was demanding and I am career focused, I had seemed overwhelmed caring for two children and he felt it would be disruptive to move him. He is a traveling sales man and from what I have heard from my son he is not really around much. However he won't tell me his schedule. In the papers he served me with he stated he is home on the weekends.
I feel that even though we had nothing in writing it was verbally agreed and that should be honored. He even states this in an email that he knows he only has him for the school year.
I feel it would be bad to split the kids up, also the charter school he wants to send him to next year is rated worse than his school here and when I researched the area they moved to there is a high crime rate compared to my location.
I have decided to hire a nanny to help me with the kids because I was unable to enroll our son in the after school program for the coming year because he never sent me back the enrollment forms he had to co-sign. I guess he had this in the works and had no intention of returning him. Care will now cost me triple what it would have.
I have hired a lawyer and they say relax, but I am panicked. My lawyer claims the bigger issue might be that I have a medical issue. During the monitoring period there was a change and I had surgery. Getting served papers 3 weeks after open heart surgery does not help with healing.
My lawyer advised that I get statements from my docs about my health although he is not using this as a reason for seeking custody.
What are the chances he could win? Is the fact that there is a new wife who stays home going to play a big part? How bad is it that I am the only one doing everything and do have to use babysitters and childcare places? Do the courts consider the impact of separating siblings? My daughter has been looking forward to him coming home. In his paperwork he states that our son enjoys the company of his older step brother. Is a step brother better than a biological sister because he is a male?
Thank you

[GV70]

Honestly- no one can predict what will happen... Follow your lawyer' s advises.