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Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2012, 08:24 PM

Originally Posted by Señorita Salomo

My mother has been layed off for over a year and my father has been retired longer than her. My father is around his 70's and my mother is in her 60's.

Your father should be getting social security payments. Maybe your mom does too.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 18, 2012, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Your father should be getting social security payments Maybe your mom does too.

This is true.

Señorita Salomo · Jul 18, 2012, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

So you are wanting to move, but you don't have a job. Does your fiancé have a job?
Are you wanting to be with him or just get away from your family? How old is your fiancé?

He's starting when he comes to pick me up and the people I worked with said they might get me a job up there ( but I'm not putting my full trust on it, I'm putting in applications as soon as I get up there.)
And I believe it's both. I want to leave this place, been here over 18 years and there are too many memories here that I don't want. And.. I guess you can say that I love him, he loves me. We want to be happy. I want to be happy. If I just wanted to leave I could've gone somewhere else, I have some people who would be more than willing to take me but I want to be with him, have a job, go to an art school, live my life. And he turned 18 this May. I'm older than him by 5 months.

Señorita Salomo · Jul 18, 2012, 08:32 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

This is true.

My father receives, I believe they said, $300. And my mother receives $500, though I'm not sure. But they say they still need help, we go out of town a lot for church conventions..

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2012, 08:35 PM

"I guess you can say that I love him, he loves me. We want to be happy. I want to be happy. I just wanted to leave."

You really don't love him. He's your way to escape.

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2012, 08:35 PM

Someone is lying to you about SS payments.

Señorita Salomo · Jul 18, 2012, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"I guess you can say that I love him, he loves me. We want to be happy. I want to be happy. I just wanted to leave."

You really don't love him. He's your way to escape.

I do, ma'am.. I really truly do. I've thought about this many times. I'm going to be honest with you, I am afraid of being judged that it's selfish to leave them for a boy. I don't know how to defend myself, I never could. He makes me happy, I love him, I want a life with him, I want children with him.. I have been abused and always had trouble opening up, he has the ability to get me to tell him everything, I have never felt like this before. If I didn't love him I would be leaving with someone else. How many times do you hear that a girl is in love.. And how many times is it true? I love him and this is very true.

Señorita Salomo · Jul 18, 2012, 08:43 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"I guess you can say that I love him, he loves me. We want to be happy. I want to be happy. I just wanted to leave."

You really don't love him. He's your way to escape.

I'm not mad, I'm just explaining.

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2012, 08:44 PM

Then why all the hedging?

That's what parents are supposed to do, raise their daughters (and sons) to be able to fly free someday.

Señorita Salomo · Jul 18, 2012, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Someone is lying to you about SS payments.

Why do you say this? And it could be that I have SS payments with something else. I overheard my parents saying that they receive $800 together.

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2012, 08:48 PM

I find that hard to believe. You must have heard wrong.

Is there a mortgage or rental? Who pays that? Food, cars' maintenance, car insurance, utilities, church offerings, clothing costs, etc.

Señorita Salomo · Jul 18, 2012, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Then why all the hedging?

I didn't mean to be and I'm sorry if it did seem like I was. I guess I'm so afraid of judgement.

Señorita Salomo · Jul 18, 2012, 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I find that hard to believe. You must have heard wrong.

Is there a mortgage or rental? Who pays that? food, cars' maintenance, car insurance, utilities, church offerings, clothing costs, etc.?

Church offerings, everyone volunteerly give money and is saved up. But everything else I don't know..

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2012, 08:56 PM

Originally Posted by Señorita Salomo

I'm so afraid of judgement.

Then it's time you grew a spine. You're going to need one if you plan to leave. And once you are out in the world, a spine will come in handy, especially if things don't work out with this guy.

My sil has managed to keep her 23 yo and 30 yo daughters at home by means of guilt trips -- "You think life is better somewhere else?" and "How could you even dare think of leaving me here all alone with your father?" Don't end up like that, but don't do this the wrong way either.

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2012, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by Señorita Salomo

Church offerings, everyone volunteerly give money and is saved up. But everything else I don't know..

If your parents have worked most of their lives, they have to be getting close to or more than $1000 a month each in SS payments.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 18, 2012, 09:17 PM

I think if you want to go, you should do it. Work to take care of yourself, not your parents.
I wish you well

Señorita Salomo · Jul 19, 2012, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If your parents have worked most of their lives, they have to be getting close to or more than $1000 a month each in SS payments.

I know my father has been in and out of jobs but my mom had been working at a company before I was born.

Señorita Salomo · Jul 19, 2012, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I think if you want to go, you should do it. Work to take care of yourself, not your parents.
I wish you well

Thank you, you all have been a great help. I just hope I can have the strength to tell her that what I want to do..