[quartergirl]

Hi all :)

I just joined the site and tis pretty cool being able to read and identify with everyone's questions. I hope you all can help me and I will value each of your answers even if they're negative.

Here's the jist. Ive been dating E for 6 years. In those six years, he cheated on me once and I've never been the same since. It changed me from innocent little girl to full out crazy party no conscience girl. No longer sunshine and roses in my vision.

So, we broke up and I saw another guy, C. Then E begged me to get back together, and as I loved him, I did. Not a day went by I didn't picture him with her. It tortures me, but I love him.

C started seeing me again. I didn't tell him that E and I are back together.. I know it is wrong but I don't feel bad. Now C is all in love with me and I'm dating both of them.

I don't know what to do. I can't leave E as he is my childhood love and first ever person. C is the second and he's fun and complete opposite.

I know I have to make a choice, I can't forgive E for what he did but I can't leave him cos I feel responsible and I'm used to the routine and comfortableness.
I love him in that way. The sex is bad cos I keep pictuirng the other girl, but I know he is truly sorry.

I can't leave C cause he is my best friend and very emotional. Sex is awsom here. He's never hurt me but is now very attatched and wants to marry me. I don't want to lose him.

What do I do? I can't keep living this double life. The cracks are starting to show. Please don't call me slut etc etc, I know it already, I just need to know what to do.

I'm 26 and this choice can affect my entire future.

Please guys, any help would be appreciated.

[VanillaChip]

Yeah, you suck. Sorry. I know it's past time, but you of course never should have gotten back together with E. Now it sounds like you've got a great guy in C, but you're screwing him over. The answer is easy (if you want to do the right thing): you break up with E (you don't have to tell him that you're dating another guy even) and you tell C what has been going on. If he loves you enough to forgive, then you guys have a shot. You can try to work things out. But he also might not. You do not deserve him if you don't tell him what's going on, though. Sorry to be so harsh, but I feel bad for C.

[quartergirl]

Thanks, VanillaChip. I didn't think about actually coming clean to C about all of it.

E is coming back tomorrow from vacation, and I think I willl make the decision then. I can't get through each day thinking I'm going straight to hell.

Do you think it is possible to get over E? Would you be actually able to forgive a cheater that you love?

:)xo

[VanillaChip]

Absolutely you can get over E. People get through much more difficult emotional situations on a daily basis (death of loved ones, for instance). You've got to be strong and get out of a relationship that can never be repaired.
In terms of your second question, I assume that you're asking if I think C would ever be able to forgive you. Dude, maybe. It seems unlikely. But even if he does, and you continue seeing him, your infidelity will leave scars on your relationship with him. You know how it is. He'll think a lot about the other guy you've been cheating on him with. I could be wrong. Anyway, feel it out. Good luck. If it doesn't work out with either of them, it's a good chance to learn something and do it right with somebody else.

[quartergirl]

Thanks for the good luck!

No what I meant more was, if you were in a relationship with someone for 5 years, and they cheated, could you forgive them? Talking about me now being cheated on by E.

Some people say it is possible. But I cannot erase the flashbacks!
:P