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suz1000 · Aug 21, 2009, 06:30 AM

Hi there,

I am 24years old. I recently have been dating a guy for around 2 months, we get on great and I have a good time with him. However my Ex-boyfriend recently came back from travelling and I have been meeting up with him also, I have only seen him 3 times and he is back a little over a month now. We kept in contact when he was a way for a year. I told the new guy about my ex-boyfriend a while ago and he said that is my business .I told my ex-boyfriend that I started seeing someone else and he was hurt by it but still wants to see me.The worst part of this I have been physically with the 2 of them so I feel really really bad about that.My friends tell me that I am young and I am not exclusive with any of them, they have not asked me to be there girlfriend or anything like that.

I recently backed awat from seeing them for 2 weeks so I could get my head together but I think I have to decide soon.

Does anyone know the best way to decide between two really great guys?And also how long can I date the two of them before I have to decide?

artlady · Aug 21, 2009, 07:05 AM

The ex is an ex for a reason so I would revisit your reasons for him being an ex.
That may give you a place to begin.

talaniman · Aug 21, 2009, 10:09 AM

Not to keen on keeping an ex around, but I think you can date whomever you want, whenever you want, if you don't get physical with them.

The sex is, to me reserved for exclusive partners, as dating is not a commitment, neither is sex, but having to many partners at the same time, leads to confusion of your feelings, as your getting well aware of, so adjust your behavior, and then there will be no stress to make a choice at this time.

Just have fun, and decide when who chose, when YOU have reached a decision.

I wish · Aug 21, 2009, 09:00 PM

Like Talaniman said, I think it's better to hold off on the sex with either guy until you decide on being exclusive with one of them.

Since you aren't exclusive with either of them, you can continue to see them to decide on who you want to be with.

Keep in mind:

1) You broke up with your ex for a reason, so unless you can fix those problems of the past, there's no reason to revisit that relationship.

2) You probably don't know the new guy as well as you know your ex. Since you can't decide between them, it's better for you to get to know the new guy a little bit more before making a decision.

3) You're right that you shouldn't lead them both on for too much longer. So I would suggest that you spend more time talking to them and then coming to a decision.

4) When you do come up with a decision, it's better to cut the other person out so as to not lead them on and not to confuse you more.