[bjs1976]

Hi,

I need help here please!

Had a long distance relationship with a girl, she moved to my country, and we fell in love - feelings were strong when we were chatting over Facebook, but I backed off because I thought the relationship would never happen - then she moved here, because she loves this country, not because of me.

We've been seeing each other for about 7 weeks - I think the problems are:
1) Her life here is not sorted out - she needs support - I provide that for her, as do her friends. It worries me because when she no longer requires that support, I sense her feelings for me will change
2) Today, she mentioned that she is worried that the relationship will not go the distance. Because of our conflicting working hours. I work office hours, she is working in a bar. We may get to spend 1 or 2 evenings a week, if we are lucky and it hurts and frustrates her, as it does me. She also said that she doesn't feel like she has the same connection we once had - I don't feel that way - she says she loves me but just doesn't feel the same connection. But told me not to worry, she wants to make this work... but she's said what she's said.

That worries me, but despite that, I told her not to worry about the future, lets take it as it comes - but Ive thought about it, and I don't want to be led on if she doesn't feel the same way.

SO, options?
1) Talk to her - I don't think that talking can help - it can give her more fuel on where I am and I could come across as needy / too emotional - It could backfire badly.
2) Break up
3) Become less available, get busy, make her less of a priority.
4) Carry on as I am.

I do love her, I do want a future with her, but if she isn't clear or is confused at this early stage, what am I to do?

Appreciate your advice,

B

[lynn_syn]

Do u love the girl? Crearly you do. Does she love u? Yes she does. You say that she feels like the connection is "lost" or not the same as before, right? Well do something that would show her that the connection is still there. Prove to her that you'll do anything for her. Take a day off from work, do something romantic. You don't need to go all out. Bt you get my drift. So lets give that a try and see what happens next.

[Homegirl 50]

You had a long distance relationship, those can be exciting but when you meet and reality sets in, the fantasy wanes. You have been seeing each other on a live one to one bases for 7 weeks, that is enough time to know whether reality is going to work. For her, it's not.
Just be friends and see where that goes.