[DrunkenGar]

Hello, I have been dating this woman for over 4 years and last x-mas we became engaged. At That time also my Parents started a biz. Her and I both had high goals and knew what we wanted. We loved each other very much. But I felt obligated to help my parents and let school start falling behind while she kept moving forward. It caused some problems. We broke off the engagement and decided to just be bf/gf until we worked out problems. We both decided that we loved each other way too much and wanted to work things out. I told her that we would not rush things and I would only put the ring back upon her finger when she decided she truly felt ready. 2 weeks went by and she had been talking about it then one night while we were cuddling between a kiss she whispered that she missed what the ring meant and was ready and that it wouldn't lave her finger. For the next month things were great and looking up. I had my goals back etc. Then came my mistake. I was trying to setup a friend with this girl I knew and her and I go back sometime. My fiancé never knew this girl but a few days back while I was working on a deadline to finish a project she found the e-mails I had sent. Except that I had deleted most of them ecxept the last 2. Those e-mails made it sound as if I was cheating on her. Then that night thing got tore apart. I was playing around with her giving her a hard time about things not realizing she had this on her mind. The day before we had been very lovey. After that day I slept in my truck. She didn't talk to me for 2 days then came home and said its over she packe up and left that day. I love her with all my heart. I have been in other relationships serious and not serious and I have been on both ends of the break up and still have never felt the void I feel now. To me I know she was my true love. I hate that love does not conqure all like it does in the movies. I know she couldn't stop loving me like that and I believe she is just very hurt right now and needs time so I decided to give that time and space to her. My heart is screaming to fight for her but I don't want to push her away. I truly believe that most likely it is over because I don't want to hurt myself more but at the same time I do love her so much and am keeping hope alive that it will work. I want it to work But I just don't know how to fight for the woman I love. I have so far decided to work on myself in this time in hell and become the man I was before the stress. Please help!

[Shackles2Garlands]

So you weren't cheating?. I don't know, wish I could help more. Do you two still talk at all? I would try to contact her and explain things out. It sounds like something more is going on than what is on the surface.

[Bluerose]

Working on yourself is a very positive thing to do. Be with yourself for a while, find out what you like doing and what makes you happy. This will make you feel more self assured and others will benefit from your strength and energy.

Most people don't realise that there is so much more to relationships than loving and getting along. We lean on each other to a certain degree, we take energy from each other - we need it. If your mental, emotional and physical health isn't all it should be the energy is draining away from the relationship.

You can replenish it by spending time with yourself, getting fit, and finding out what makes you happy as well as what you want out of life. If you don't know these things, you are draining her energy also. And perhaps she just needs time alone in order to feel strong again. When she does she comes back but then she is off again. She is probably just as unaware of the cause of your rocky relationship as you are.

We need to work on ourselves first then we can come together and grow as couples, families... Whatever.

We sleep, and we seek space and time for ourselves for a reason.

Avoid expecting more than you are willing to give and vice versa - don't do so much for her that she is left feeling beholding to you. Find more balance.

Right now though, I think you both need some time apart. And if you should meet simply ask her if she would like to get a coffee, and keep the conversation light. See how that goes then take it from there.

[rol]

Oh that does sound a hard situation...
You can't really get your friend to explain either as it looks like an excuse.

Have you really tried to explain to your fiancée about what happened?

<<I was playing around with her giving her a hard time about things not realizing she had this on her mind>>
Giving her a hard time about what?

[DrunkenGar]

Yep it just sounds like an excuse and I could tell when I told her she didn't believe it and instead of saying I cheated on her she started saying she felt cheated on. She says its over. I just don't understand how she could love me so much a day before then forget about us the next day type thing. I know in my mind that its over and 99% of the time people don't get back together but my heart is screaming for me to fight for her but I don't know how and if I should. So like the other people said I am starting by working on myself so I can prove to myself and her that I am still the man she fell in love with. But once too much time passes whop knows...

[rol]

Yeah start working on yourself...

Engagement can be a time of stress for many people so perhaps she is feeling the effects also.

Right now take time away from each other.

[talaniman]

Obviously things weren't as good as you thought, as she was ready to leave at the first hint of trouble. The best thing to do is work on you and leave her alone. Hope you got the ring back.