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    confusedman500's Avatar
    confusedman500 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 5, 2012, 04:45 PM
    In 12-year relationship with married woman and need advice
    Hi. I am in a 12 year relationship with a woman 10 years older than me. She separated from her husband 9 years ago. I love her but I don't want to leave her she has four kids and she is 40 and if I want a kid I need to have one now and I really don't want that. But if I have to do it now I will a lot of people younger than me have kids. However I'm putting my whole life on hold because of this relationship, I have fallen out with my very Catholic parents who are really good people but can't see what I'm doing is right. I can't travel I've a masters degree and can't get a job in the isolated part of my country I live in. Can I leave her or should I stay. I totally love her but I'm worried the reasons I'm staying with her is cause I want to keep her safe and I feel full of regrets already. As pathtetic as this sounds, she is the only woman I've ever been with. But I'm starting to feel resentment towards her cause of all the sacrifices I've made and I've been a bad boyfriend lately as a result. She has been amazing though treating me like a king but I'm just so torn I don't who what to do...
    Any advice out there?
    rbdrbd's Avatar
    rbdrbd Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jul 5, 2012, 05:18 PM
    Just talk to her.. and tell her how u feel... I think u should move on and find someone else.
    lostlover20912's Avatar
    lostlover20912 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 5, 2012, 05:36 PM
    It's pointless to say with someone and completely sacifice yourself and your dreams. Be honest with her. The sooner, the better. She will respect you for being honest now as opposed to feeling this way and keeping it a secret. Both of you deserve to be happy and live you dreams, even if it's not with each other.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Jul 5, 2012, 05:46 PM
    What's the problem? You want to get married and have kids, but you really don't want kids?

    Is she separated, divorced, or was separated and now back with her husband?

    Only you can choose what you want. You've wasted 12 years on this women, so you choose. Do you want more, or do you want an actual relationship?

    Maybe you should ask her husband what he thinks. :(
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