[naomingoma]

I am a 23 year old single mother,of a 3 year old daughter.the father to my child really wanted this pregnancy and he promised to marry me,when I completed high school in 2007,he impregnated the following year and gave birth the following year,after my daughter was 5 months old,he left and said he's going to study,3years I have been waiting for him and only to find out that he is living for the UK for another woman,this was march this year.it hurts so bad to think of the time wasted and what we've been through together and then someone just leaves you just like that,I never wronged him maybe just because that woman is in the UK and maybe is rich I become bad.can somebody at least try and help me understand why life is like this,why money comes first in other people's lives,I have a descent job,independent taking care of my daughter but I can't find myself a man cause am scared to get hurt again.I was dating a colored guy,I have never dated a black man maybe I should try them but I love my ex and I pray to God to erase him from my heart and if only someone can help me with an injection for memory lose so I can forget him.if there's any warm hearted man out there who's willing to take care of my fragile heart,I would be grateful,like seriously...

[jakester]

Naomi - so sorry to hear about your situation. It is very difficult to deal with circumstances like you described: when you open your heart to someone, there is always a risk of being hurt. My heart goes out to you.

I don't think that God will erase the memory of your ex for you. But I do think that God can give us wisdom through difficult situations like these. And that is my prayer for you: that you may grow wiser through this difficult time. Wiser so that you will recognize a good man when you see one and distinguish him from a man like your ex. There are good men who are willing to love you but it may take time to find that person. I don't pretend to understand how God works in those ways but I believe that he knows our hearts and what is best for us.

Don't rush into another relationship. Take time to heal and mend your heart. When the time comes for you to be ready for a relationship, the memory of your ex won't be so strong and you will have forgotten the pain but it takes time... time really does heal, like they say.

All the best to you.

[naomingoma]

Thank you so much jakester,you've made me cry I,am touched.I know that God is there and am a prayerful person,but what have I ever done wrong that he can't forgive me,he took away my parents I accepted,I try to be happy with just one man and he gives him to another woman,sometimes I would read the bible it comforts me but not for long,please pray for me with all your heart that I should never doubt that God exist cause I know that what he has done for me is more than I can explain,even this gift of life am so thankful and I hope that I can be happy emotionally and hope that my heart will never feel this hurt again.you're a blessing,than you once again.

[jakester]

thank you so much jakester,you've made me cry i,am touched.i know that God is there and am a prayerful person,but what have i ever done wrong that he can't forgive me,he took away my parents i accepted,i try to be happy with just one man and he gives him to another woman,sometimes i would read the bible it comforts me but not for long,please pray for me with all your heart that i should never doubt that God exist cause i know that what he has done for me is more than i can explain,even this gift of life am so thankful and i hope that i can be happy emotionally and hope that my heart will never feel this hurt again.you're a blessing,than you once again.

I understand how you feel... what you describe is not uncommon for God's people. I think about Joseph and how his heart was broken after he was torn away from his family.

One of the things that is very hard to understand about God is why he puts us through so much pain. It is not easy being a child of God... he does not shy away from putting us through difficult times. I know that you do not want to doubt God's existence or his goodness; I have wrestled with that too. But we feel the pain and we struggle with it. I know God understands that and that is why he is patient with us. I think he puts us through these difficulties to mature us and give us the eyes to see that there is more to this life. The kingdom of God is what awaits those who desire it but as we live in this world, we struggle between being comfortable here and wanting to see the face of God. That is the Christian life.

But I do believe that along the way here, God blesses us with good things. Maybe it is a matter of the season of life we are in:

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

My friend, you are not alone. Your struggles are felt by other believers and the same God who loves and cares for them, loves and cares for you. It may not feel that way. But I believe that ultimately, everything God is doing is for our good... whether we understand his ways or not. I know that sometimes we feel discouraged and left out in the cold; that is why sometimes we need the encouragement of others. I hope for today that you can find comfort in these words.

[naomingoma]

Amen to that,Ecclesiastes chapter 3,one of my favorite chapter,thank you.

[mmresd]

Why would you want this memory be erased from you? Remember the good things and forget the bad things. Live positively and everything will be all right. Right now you are feeling like life is unfair (and it is) and that maybe there is no good guys out there. Remember that there are more than 3,000,000,000 men out there and you have had a bad experience with one, let time heal your wounds, take care of your child, get your promotion at work, and stay as happy as possible. As far as this break up goes, the only thing that will make thing better is time, and make sure that you never talk to him again, unless it is about his kid. I believe that almost everyone is this site, especially in the relationships section has been disappointed by someone romantically one way or another at some point in time, we are all still here, and learning from our previous mistakes just so that the next relationship can be a little bit better.