[barbie lomeli]

I'm 21, married to a guy that was awesome at the beginning, still is but he lost his job for being irresponsible. He curses a lot and likes to get high every day.

A guy from my past just appeared. We never went out, we were just buddies. We always had partners but see each other. Now that I talk to him he tells me why I never expressed my feeling towards him. I guess he never asked me out because he thought I wasn't very interested in him. Now he appeared and has been texting me and we saw each other twice. We never did anything though I can't resist texting him. I have been acting differently in my relationship towards my husband because my feelings for this guy never changed. I don’t know if it’s because we never got to be with each other, or because we feel for each other.

We been having a thing for each other for 7 years already and we feel the same. He lives with a girl also so we can't really be like before. We have agreed on going out and drink together but I just been thinking about it a lot I’m afraid of what might happened. But when I talk to him I’m happy and when I get home it's like I’m miserable. I know it isn’t right.

When I tried not to text him he text me or calls me, or if not it’s me that reaches out for him. He text me an hour before my wedding. He didn't know I was getting married though we went through so much that I don’t know if it’s right to keep on texting, seeing him, see where we end, or just end it, and live our separate lives with the people we choose even though I know I ain't happy. And he seems he is unhappy too. He has kicked his girl out couple times, and cheated on her with his ex. So I know he don’t feel for her, and he always ends up back on my path. What to do?

[Chevyman84]

Ok first off tell your husband to stop getting high period. That shouldn't be involved in a relationship. As for the other guy worry about either trying to fix your marriage first. If u can't a divorce may be necessary. But tell the other guy you will only be friends until things are sorted out (whether you want to keep your husband or not don't have another affair while your married) after all that just really think about what you want before you get married again if you ever do.

[WisperWill70]

You're married and distracted by a guy you had a crush on since the age of 14 at the same time. You got married young, and now you're going to have to deal with it.. and your unhappiness at home (and in yourself) WITHOUT adding other people to the mix and you're going to have to do it no matter if you end the relationship or stay with your husband. Your old crush has a girlfriend so he's not available either! - and both of you have to sort out your lives like adults before anything else. You and hubby have some maturing to do to cope with new adult life -- getting high, not looking for work and getting involved with other people isn't going to help.

[talaniman]

Don't be a young fool and just start cheating around because your husband hasn't made you happy. Get a divorce first, and then do all the exploring and experimenting you want without becoming a lying cheater.

That's how you handle that.

[barbie lomeli]

Thank you I understand now that we have ups and Downs me and the other didn't happened for a reason we would always hook up since 15 but nor I or him said what we felt for each other then we hooked up for 4 years but we always had girlfriends(him) boyfriends (me) and cheated in them with each other we stop seen each other for 3 years in that time I met my husband and been living with him for a while now and now that he popped back in my life it kind of got me out of focused I see now that maybe we just feel like that Cuzz it never happened he regrets never asking ne out and he asked me why didn't I ever express my feelings towards him maybe our life's would have been different but now we have to suck it up and live with our choices like they say if its meant to be even if years pass one day it would happened but not while married.it ain't fair for others or me my husband is a wonderful Guy that helps me around the house he.promise no more smoking and has kept it for 5 days straight so far been applying every where and.it shows me he cares to safe our marriage I think the one that was always making a fight out of everything was me hoping I would get set free and be single but like you guys said I'm young and can't go just with my hormones I have to safe my marriage so I can say at least I tried and if it didn't work out wasn't my fault

[talaniman]

That's a wise course of action as we all face distractions, and temptations. But we have to remain focused on doing what's right for us and others, and keep our priorities straight.

[WisperWill70]

If you commit and keep talking - you'll notice that your partner will keep trying too...
Sometimes we fall off the 'wagon' (being a grown up and committing to things is hard) when we feel criticized or distant or just don't feel the love. -- Keep loving -- you'll get it in return :)