[nancydal]

Hi, my name is Nancy. I need some male advice (and some female too). I don't know if my earlier question posted, so I'm trying again. I just need to know I'm not crazy for feeling this way...

So my boyfriend of almost two years and I decided to take a break. He seems to be pulling away more and more. I am just tired of the whole thing...

1.) He is still married, but left 4 yrs ago.
2.) He filed for divorce in Jan. 2009, but then didn't really pursue anything further. He always has an excuse.
3.) Finally, he has an attorney, but not because he needs to do this for himself or for our relationship (we are 37 and 38), but because his ex (who we think has a borderline personality disorder) filed a PFA against him. I offered to not receive a gift from him and just really wanted him to focus on the divorce, he refused. As I said, two years later, same boat as before. We are both Christians too, so this is a pretty big deal.

Other things he does:
-He didn't come visit me at home after my trip to the ER
-he hasn't kissed me passionately in months
-he says my current back situation overwhelms him and he feels sad about visiting me as we currently don't have a normal situation/relationship
-he hid our relationship status on fb
- he avoids and procrastinates whenever he really doesn't want to deal with something
- still talks about his ex's son and foster kids he used to have, etc. The list is getting really long. I am sad almost daily now. I suggested we take a break as I feel he deserves a girlfriend who can walk more normally but that I deserve a boyfriend who is divorced and heals and takes care of things. We agreed to still be in a relationship but be on a break. I think I no longer wish to see him or speak to him until he has a divorce decree signed and in his hand, and I need to know that we can have open and honest conversations without defensiveness being the norm for both of us. I think he's passive-aggressive and we have what is known as a boomerang relationship. I don't know what to think of him. I feel like a burden and obligation to him. I don't think this is how it should work.

Thank you for reading and I look forward to your feedback.

Nancy

[talaniman]

Stay away from a guy who can't get his divorce after 4 years. What's crazy is you wasting time on a guy that can't make you happy, give you what you need, or handle ANY of his business properly.

Religion means NOTHING when you are hoping for an idiot to come through for you.

That's crazy!!

[nancydal]

Stay away from a guy who can't get his divorce after 4 years. Whats crazy is you wasting time on a guy that can't make you happy, give you what you need, or handle ANY of his business properly.

Religion means NOTHING when you are hoping for an idiot to come thru for you.

Thats crazy!!!

Thank you for your response. I have been so confused as of late, and just wondering if I am crazy for feeling so frustrated constantly. I just wanted to be positive that I wasn't being clingy or irrational in how he has been treating me. I need to now be strong enough to walk away. Thanks again for your honesty...