[Lily Flower]

Hi...
I don't really know where to start, I'm very nervous so I hope things all makes sense.
I am hoping to get some advice from this site as my friends keep telling me that my story doesn’t sound right and that my mum should have gotten in trouble with the law. I was a single mum and raised my beautiful little girl for over 5 years happy and healthy. My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship and never were able to see ‘eye to eye’ on parenting matters. This cause a lot of arguments and one particular argument turned into a fight where she decided not to return my daughter home.

I contacted the police, who advised me it was a family court matter as she was family and I had placed my daughter with her, she hadn’t came and taken her. After 3 months of torment and searching for my mum and my daughter with no assistance from the police, I turned to legal aid to help find an address for my mother or any of her friends etc. It took months to be appointed a lawyer who put through a location order which failed and hired other agencies to help find her. None of them worked.
Words cannot describe the heart wrenching pain and massive earth quake this caused in my whole life. Every area of my life shut down and everything and everyday was about FINDING MY BABY. Over a year later I received a taunting video message from my mother via my e-mail. The video showed my daughter playing with my younger sister, and a message at the bottom said, SHE Isn't WITH ME ANYMORE, GOODLUCK EVER FINDING HER. I fell apart, but never stopped, I went from family friend to family friend trying to find clues or a trail, I found nothing.

Finally mum slipped up in a conversation with someone and mentioned going to interstate, I was then to later learn that my mum had tracked down my daughter’s biological father whom she had never met and sent my daughter on a plane 3 states away to live with him. To my amazement I was then in a family court matter and now have been granted time to spend with her. The court sees her as living there stable and don’t take into account how she got there. Worst thing is my daughter remembers been taken and hidden from me, they told her I left her and didn’t want her anymore so Nana had to find her a new home.
I had not one single complaint against me as a mother and never had a child safety or child protection services complaint or anything. I just don’t think the way this happened was legal and fair. No one can answer that for me.
I wish it was a false claim that took her away because then I would have something to fight. My mum took her away and ruined her life. Scared and frightened her terribly, she cries when she tells the stories. I just want to understand how my mum can't get into trouble for taking the law into her own hands, I should have had some right to know where my baby was.

[J_9]

One thing you are missing in your story is WHY your daughter was in your mother's custody in the first place.

Also, your locations are important as the law varies by area.

[Lily Flower]

She was visiting my mum as she did regularly. I am in QLD and my daughter was taken interstate, because the matter is in family court, I can't disclose too much information.

[joypulv]

QLD - Queensland? Keep in mind this is a world site.
Yes, you can disclose more, because you are anonymous unless you put private information in your profile. We can't possibly know why the court ruled as they did based on the little information you have given.
When you said 'placed my daughter with her,' that implies an agreement for her to care for your child, court ordered or otherwise, not just a visit.
If you want to sue your mother, you need to talk to some law firms who do pro bono (free) cases, but most of them deal in defense only, and often civil rights defense only, and it isn't clear what you want to sue her FOR - money? Criminal act? It's going to be difficult no matter what (not that I don't agree with you that it could be, I don't know enough). We don't know how old you were, whether you had any criminal history or were hanging out with anyone who did, how much time she spent with your mother, why she was there, and how your mother managed to move out of state lock stock and barrel before you could notice. That part is especially puzzling for me - how long did she have her before you found out she was gone?
If you want to sue the court, that is going to be equally difficult if not more so.
(You asked this under Law so we need to answer to that more than the heart wrenching parts, which are clear and very sad, and I feel for both you and your daughter.)

[ScottGem]

I'm not that familiar with Australian law. But sounds to me like the police screwed up. Unless your mother had legal custody she had no right to take your child. This was kidnapping pure and simple.

But I don't think there are grounds to sue your mother. However, what I would do, is talk to a local prosecutor and ask about pressing charges for kidnapping.

One point you left out that is key here. You said you are a single mother. What about the father? Were you ever married? Is he on the birth certificate? Did you ever go to court to establish custody? Did he know that your mother took your daughter?

But you need a good lawyer to get her back. You have to prove to the court that your mother had no right to take the child (that's where kidnapping comes in), that you have searched for her ever since. That the father had no right to keep the child without informing you. Hopefully you can find an attorney who will take this case to show how the police and courts are screwing this up.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Lily Flower]

Thank you for your replies, I know it will be difficult and I don't want money, I want my mum to have to answer for what she did, the sleepless nights and even nights like tonight where I just don't understand why my baby is not still at home with me.
My daughter had visited my mums house before but only to visit and 'sleepovers'. Mum had no custody of her and I never signed anything or was informed she was with her father. When I knew mum was not returning her, I went to the police and they ignored the use of the word kidnap because they said that mum was family so therefore a family court matter. I could only afford legal aid at the time and the application process alone took 5 weeks then my appointed solicitor sent my mother a letter to an address I already knew was not current. I had visited my mums house trying to find her several times. I even tried her work place and she wasn't there. The next step was detective services and a location order was never suggested. I only learn t about that when I starting researching. I kept getting told that there was no court paperwork to say who she lives with, so no one is at fault.
Her father and I were never in a relationship and how I fell pregnant is difficult to talk about, but its enough for me to know he is not a trustworthy character and my mum knew I was terrified of him coming into the picture. I didn't see him after I fell pregnant. He is also not on the birth certificate, I remember screaming that at the police officers when I heard the rumor my daughter had been put on a plane. I had no idea how someone could do that, I even told the police on several occasions that I thought she was in severe danger, the most they did was sent a patrol car to my mums last known address.
After I seen my daughter again, she told me that after I dropped her at Nanas, she was taken to a house with 2 ladys that looked after her until she was flown down to Tasmania and introduced to her father for the first time.
I have been trying to use the word KIDNAP the whole time, and just hate that my mum still has gotten away with this. I have only had family lawyers and they don't even think that what mum did can be taken into consideration in family court, only what is best for my daughter right now, regardless of how she ended up where she is.
I have no criminal history, neither does my mum, that I know of. She does lie a lot. I have 4 siblings, all different dads and she has used us all against our fathers and vis versa. It is in her nature to use kids as power plays, but I NEVER thought she would use my daughter and I definitely thought it would be against the law.

[ScottGem]

Have you talked to a local prosecutor? I found some links that may help you:

HUKO International -Australia's ONLY Parental Child Abduction Resource and Communication Site..!!
Child Recovery Australia
International Divorce
Parentally Abducted Children

The bad news I glean from this is that parental abductions are not a crime in Australia. The good news is that you may be able to find support and advocacy from these sites and, more importantly, legal help for your situation.

If the father is not on the birth certificate and there has been no court actions to declare him the legal father, than he has no rights. Please try contacting the organizations listed in those links. You can find someone familiar with your laws who can help you with a plan of action.

And again, good luck and keep us posted.

[Lily Flower]

Wow thank you so much, I really appreciate that. I have just hired a private lawyer over a legal aid lawyer for my family court matter in trying to relocate her back from her father to me. However I wanted to start something against mum for what she did, hoping my lawyer can use that to show the judge how wrong this all was. They seriously won't take it into account now, its not relevant because she is living with him now, I have to apply for custody :(.
Truly thank-you, now I feel like I can start this angle, I hated feeling like now I'm in family court all the wrongs were forgotten.

[ScottGem]

I'm afraid there may not be much you can do to your mother. If prosecutors refuse to prosecute for the abduction, I don't see much else. Ask your attorney about custodial or parental interference laws. That might be something you can use against her.

Of course, once you regain custody (and I think you will), she never gets to see her grandchild again. I would make sure you have an order of protection prohibiting her from coming near them.