[buckey101]

I was a victim of violence for about 7 years before I just grabbed my two kids and ran. To let you know what type of man I had, when my son was 4 years oldl, my ex pointed a saw-off shotgun to the back door and said he would kill the first person who came in. It happened to be my son. I quickly turned around and fought the gun out of his hand. We were separated at the time and he just busted into my home assuming I had a man there. My son never saw the gun as I was too fast. Despite my being separated with a lifetime restraining order, that didn't stop him. My son is 22 years old and is great despite all of this. My daughter however saw most of the violence and despite the fact that I tried to make them "forget" has in turn become the abuser. Both live at home. My daughter works, I let her stay rent free in order to save her money so that she can live on her own. My son lives also at home and is in university. A couple of years ago, he was in real financial trouble with tuition so I lent him 10,000 dollars, my funeral money. My daughter never lets us forget it. She thinks I love him more and has spat on me, called the police and said I should be mentally assessed among some things. She insults me on the street, calls me names. My son's intentions are to get his own place and is afraid to leave me alone. I want to move to my home town and now the next guilt trip is if you leave I'll never speak to you again. I'm afraid that if I try to leave she may call the police and have me committed or change the locks and lock me out. Or even hurt me or destroy my things.These are all things my ex her dad used to do. It's really sad. She is a good hard working kid but is blaming me for all her bad luck. I just want to be free.



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[joypulv]

Find out what room rents go for around you, and write an invoice for all the months or years she has been there for free, and then credit it as forgiven. Tell her you don't favor one child financially or emotionally and if she thinks you do, she can move out now. Tell her that as long as she is under your roof, she is not to act like her father; she can be that way somewhere else. You were strong when they were small and now need to be strong again.

[buckey101]

Thank you Joy: In reality she is a good kid. And I know when the big day comes, I am going to have a problem. I may have to take my precious momentos (ie photos and baby souvenirs,) pack them up and put them somewhere safe as I can see her destroying all of it. It was my choice to let them live both rent free so that they can save their money and leave home. Although she is very generous and does contribute to the household in many ways, I cannot maintain this rental home. My son backs me up 100% and so do many others. In his case he is still a student working hard this summer to pay next year's tuition. The mental assessment bothers me because I may have to get outside help to get me out of trouble if she goes that route. Boy what a bind can someone be in. It never dawned on me that a 7 year old who has seen so much in her life can remember that far back and think that just because dad got away with all the things he done, so can she. Again, you are a "joy" to write. I'm making up the "bill" now. X