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DarkNova07 · Jun 13, 2012, 10:48 AM

My girlfriend has kept two of ex's as friends and at first it didn't bother me but now it has been like crazy. I'm an overthinker and an analyst which makes my case worse.

She talks to one of them almost on a daily basis and it bothers me so much. Every time she picks up her phone I have this thought that it's one of them. I just don't like the fact that she talks to them. After knowing she wasn't really treated all that well. I'm not a controlling person though. I'd never tell her what she can and can't do.

It just gets me heated on the inside that my mood dies for the next hour or two if I hear about them or if I know she's talking to them.

I just need some advice on how to deal with this because it's getting bothersome for me.

mmresd · Jun 13, 2012, 10:53 AM

I hope you are aware that normally, the phrase "I'm an overthinker and an analyst which makes my case worse." really means, "I am jealous and do not have sufficient self esteem or confidence in myself to deal with this, therefore, I have chosen those two words to JUSTIFY my feelings".

But if you don't want her talking to her exes, then you need to let he know that it bother you, she should be understanding enough and considerate to see your feelings are being hurt and your insecurities are coming out on top. If she doesn't then maybe it is time to find someone who is not talking to her exes, normally if they are still talking to their exes, is not a good time to be in a relationship with that person. There are exceptions, but if your gut is telling you something, then maybe it is time to move on.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 13, 2012, 11:36 AM

Does she know that her talking to her exs so often bothers you?
I can't imagine why she would be talking to one almost every day.
Your best bet may be to move on.

DarkNova07 · Jun 13, 2012, 11:05 PM

Yes she knows that it bothers me, we've talked about it before. She always says " what are you afraid of, what do you think is going to happen?" I know I'm not going to lose them to her. I'm not afraid about that nor jealous. I just get upset that she still talks to them. She tries not to mention them around me because she knows I get upset about it.

I don't want to find someone else or move on. We rarely have problems in our relationship. This is the only thing and it's not even that severe. I'm just asking how can I be the better man and handle this? I don't decide for her who she can and can't be friends with.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 14, 2012, 07:17 AM

I don't think it's about being a better man. You can ignore it, but if it bothers you I can understand that. There is no reason she should be talking to her ex everyday and she has a boyfriend. What do they have to talk about?
She sounds selfish to me.

talaniman · Jun 16, 2012, 02:15 PM

How old are you both? How long have you been together? Bet that has more to do with it than anything. You never tell some one how to conduct their life, or who to talk to, but you don't just sit there and take it either.

If she is so casual with her exs, then you keep a safe distance so you don't get hurt.