[Jonalon]

I'm so confused... I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly a year now but recently I've found that I have a real issue with her past. We're both 18 and she says she's got off with around 50 people in her life and slept with 2 people other than me which is way more than me. I know I shouldn't be weird about this but it really bothers me that I may be just another cog in the wheel for her and she's everything to me. Any advice from experience would be ace. Thanks.

[Fr_Chuck]

So leave her and try to find a virgin ( oh wait, they may be bothered by you if you have any sexual history)

You either trust and go with a relationship. As you get older people will have more and more past, perhaps marreid and divorced, perhaps have several kids.

So you have to trust, believe in them for what they are now, not what they used to be.

[commitment]

Your right to feel like this ;-)) if she is sleepin' around I don't think she is good baggage and you sound like a nice committed guy, I wouldn't tolerate it, love will be forgotten in time, good luck

[jmjoseph]

She is who she is.

Deal with it, or move on.

What she did before you two got together is HER business, and she has no obligation to explain, or be made to feel "bad" about it.

Are you jealous? Insecure about other guys?

[talaniman]

Dude if you don't have the self confidence to not be distracted by the confusion of finding out her past, you will never see what will happen in the future. If it doesn't work, you will indeed be yet another cog in the wheel. But if it works, you will be her last, and best cog in her wheel.

Just be yourself, put your best foot forward, and enjoy it as you find out more about her besides her past sex life. Don't let your fear of what could happen, or did happen stop you from making things happen now. Either you are in it to win it, or what's the point?

Deal with now, and put those fears where they belong, behind you. My advice, focus on what you do today, and not what was done yesterday as you can't change it so don't worry about it. LOL, friend, you are scaring yourself.

[Jonalon]

I literally can't tell you how true and useful that is. Serious you're bang on the money. I love her so it's not a question of staying or going, it's simply 'Will I feel this way about it forever?' and this shows me I really am just being irrational. My issue was the thought that I was sharing her with her past experiences and past men which is just me scaring myself. Thanks a lot, I actually see it from a different perspective now.

[talaniman]

You are welcome, glad to help. I do have to be honest though, as I have seen plenty of wild party girls settle down into being the most solid human beings I know.

[kctiger]

I'm not sure I really understand a point of your question. Not to sound ignorant, but what do you mean she has "gotten off" on almost 50 people? She has only slept with two other guys besides you. I'd say that is a pretty good, and even conservative number considering nowadays. I am just thrown off by the "got off" thing.

[Johnhhh]

It's a natural reaction for most men to feel uncomfortable about their girlfriends past. Its not weird. Its mainly instinct. For tens of thousands of years the guys who have no problem with being with a promiscuous woman have been more likely to unknowingly bring up another mans kid, and therefore fail to pass on their genes, which is why we´re here after all. Of course this instinct is often a hindrance, as many promiscuous women are capable of fidelity, and nowadays we have contraceptives.

My situation was the same as yours. 50 kisses 2 lays. I never got over it. But fortunately I wasn't that into her anyway, whereas you really like yours. So you've just got to decide whether she´s worth it.