[vampfreak]

Hello,

Well, my girlfriend and I have been together for like 2 years now. We love each other but we fight A LOT. I know relationships have ups and downs, but the time we spend quarreling is more than the time we spend having good moments. The problem is mostly with her. She NEVER admits her mistakes, even silly ones. She always gets mad and stops talking to me until I speak first. Her stubbornness just makes our relationship a hell. I've tried talking to her about it, ignoring her, mostly everything but none of it worked. She broke up with me twice and then came back begging me to be with her. I did because I love her. I used to apologise for the mistakes she made, and since that didn't work I just try to change subject but again it didn't help.
Everything else she does shows that she loves me. It's just this stubbornness part that ruins everything. I know I have to either endure it or quit but I don't want to quit. So any idea what I should do about it?

[talaniman]

Stop taking her back when she dumps you. And she will dump you again. I can imagine you have tried everything except you won't put up with her bad behavior, and then honor your word.

Until you do, why should she stop doing what she is doing? You will cave to it, and she does know this. When you allow bad behavior, you get more of it, and if you stand for nothing (your word), you fall for anything.

So don't blame her. How old are you both? Do you live together?

[Wondergirl]

OR stop correcting her. She's just sitting there, itching for a fight. Sooooooooo, don't satisfy that need of hers. When you want to scold or correct, mentally count to ten, put on a smile, and change the subject to something nice or fun. Don't feed the beast.

[vampfreak]

Stop taking her back when she dumps you. And she will dump you again. I can imagine you have tried everything except you won't put up with her bad behavior, and then honor your word.

Until you do, why should she stop doing what she is doing? You will cave to it, and she does know this. When you allow bad behavior, you get more of it, and if you stand for nothing (your word), you fall for anything.

So don't blame her. How old are you both? Do you live together?

I'm 26 and she's 22. And no, we don't live together just yet. Do you think that it's just she needs to mature enough?

OR stop correcting her. She's just sitting there, itching for a fight. Sooooooooo, don't satisfy that need of hers. When you want to scold or correct, mentally count to ten, put on a smile, and change the subject to something nice or fun. Don't feed the beast.

I did change the subject thousands of times. It's just it's getting on my nerves that everything goes her way ALL the time. Changing subject now is a kind of submission rather than a solution for the problem.

[talaniman]

I'm 26 and she's 22. And no, we don't live together just yet. Do you think that it's just she needs to mature enough?
You are both just not able to develop the right communications skills, and one thing that has to stop is her threatening instead of discussing, and YOU allowing her to get away with it.

I did change the subject thousands of times. It's just it's getting on my nerves that everything goes her way ALL the time. Changing subject now is a kind of submission rather than a solution for the problem.

Problems never go away when there is no resolution, and some take time to resolve. As you have seen not resolving issues fairly builds resentments, frustrations, and anger, that keeps growing

Maturity, or not, learning to communicate is essential to any relationship, and without it, you have no relationship. At least not a healthy one.

[here2assist]

I dated someone that refused to admit responsibility or fault for anything. I always apologized to keep the peace even when I was trying to be civilized and polite. If someone isn't willing to budge an inch then how will you ever compromise? It's futile and you will find yourself immensely frustrated, exhausted and tired from never getting resolution. Here's a statement I copied in your post, "Her stubbornness just makes our relationship a hell." If a relationship is hell then I think you've answered your own question. Relationships should enhance our life, not bring us down. If it feels like hell then maybe you need to cut your losses.

[Wondergirl]

So it's always a power struggle for the two of you.