[safiyalorraine]

I am 13 and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months he is 16 we had a sexual relationship (he was my first) before he told me his ex was pregnant he was scared I would break up with him, at the time I thought its just a kid.. but its not the kid was born 3 weeks ago and I can't handle the fact that he sees her all the time (ex and the kid) there are photos all over his house of her and the kid and him and the kid I can't take it and when I try talk to him I can see I am hurting him and I know the fact he has a kid hurts him but I don't know what to do? Please help! Will I always be number 2 or even 3?

[Fr_Chuck]

You will be number 5 or 6 in a few years after you are pregnant with a baby and he has moved on to the next who is not pregnant. And he will be there with the babies momma most likely in her bed too, since he is the babies daddy anyway. But he most likely is there for the fun, not to be a dad in the long run.

Next of course at 13, he will be in jail for sex with you, in most US states.

Has your parents approved of your dating him ?

But you need to drop him and start thinking that you are lucky you are not that other girl right now.

[safiyalorraine]

I meant he was my first boyfriend and by sexual things I didn't mean sex.. sorry for the confusion, I don't really understand what your saying?

[Alty]

You'll never be number one, and at 13, you most likely won't be around much longer anyway, but his child will. His child will, and should, be his first priority. You aren't, and shouldn't.

I have to ask, what are you doing having a sexual relationship at the age of 13? Do your parents know? Because what the two of you are doing is illegal, not to mention stupid. Just fyi.

[safiyalorraine]

We aren't having sex!

[DoulaLC]

I am 13 and i have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months he is 16 we had a sexual relationship (he was my first)

You are apparently doing something of a sexual nature. It is very likely that you will advance to actual sex if you continue to stay with him. He obviously has been sexually active and he won't want to give it up.

Be smart and do not let things progress to having sex. There is no protection you or he can use that will 100% prevent you from getting pregnant. I'm sure he didn't mean for it to happen with his ex-girlfriend and look where that led.

He may tell you that he loves you, but if he really cares about you he won't put you in a possible position of being a young mother as he did before. Don't allow yourself to be talked into thinking you have to be sexual with him, in any way, in order to keep him around. If he couldn't tell you about something as important as having a child, what else does he not tell you about it??

Neither of you should be in a serious relationship, but he will now be required to provide for his child for a long time to come. You have a chance to avoid that situation.

Yes, you will always come after his child, and possibly his ex depending on how he feels about her. I know you care about him, but odds are very good that the two of you won't be together much longer. You both will go on to meet other people. You will likely date several different guys as you get older. If this relationship is too hard to deal with, it might be best to break up now. You can also then be sure to avoid any pressure of doing more than you should be doing.

[Alty]

we aren't having sex!

Then what does this mean?

we had a sexual relationship (he was my first)

First what? What do you consider a sexual relationship?