[Bruce_Wayne]

Yeah, I understand

[QLP]

You could always try masturbating together. Not only do some find this hot but it can be educational.

[jmjoseph]

All men should obligate themselves on how to be a sensual lover, and how to satisfy their woman. I agree with all the advice that has been given.

Orgasm is not a destination, it's a journey. Do research. Read sexuality books. Work with her on getting the satisfaction that you both want her to have. "The Sensuous Man" is a good book. I read my older brother's copy when I was 15, and have been glad for the trouble ever since.

The better you are at being sensuous, and romantic, the better lover you are going to be.

Good luck.

[Enigma1999]

Bruce,

Keep in mind that you two are still young. You guys WILL figure it out.

Every one of us has been there before. We all weren't born knowing exactly what and how to do it.

If it makes you feel any better, I lost my virginity when I was 25, and I was scared out of my mind. I didn't really understand my body at the time.

It took me practice as it will take you two.

Make this a fun thing. Learn about each other and enjoy. Because once you have mastered it, My God is it awesome!

[Enigma1999]

All men should obligate themselves on how to be a sensual lover, and how to satisfy their woman. I agree with all the advice that has been given.

Orgasm is not a destination, it's a journey. Do research. Read sexuality books. Work with her on getting the satisfaction that you both want her to have. "The Sensuous Man" is a good book. I read my older brother's copy when I was 15, and have been glad for the trouble ever since.

The better you are at being sensuous, and romantic, the better lover you are going to be.

Good luck.

Jm,

I agree with this. This was a great suggestion.

I also think that not only men should obligate themselves on how to be sensual lovers, but I believe that women should as well...

I think that the OP and his girlfriend should BOTH go to the Library and pick out some books together, and read them together.

His girlfriend should really learn how her own body works to better help him.

[kp2171]

yep. Takes time (and experience and "failures") to understand how much sensuality drives sexuality, and some never get the difference.

how a deliberate buildup of sensual tension can do so much more than frantic "foreplay"... and I put that in quotes because most of what I consider foreplay has little to do with mashing, necking, etc. a couple can be having foreplay and it can be "wrong"...

and I'm always for sharing books. Big fan. Its one of the best ways to discover new things and to approach issues... you can say "this part really interests me" instead of "why dont you ever"... I remember when a lover first read Kerner's She Comes First... we were sitting in a big box store and she said out loud, within minutes of opening it, "this guy know how to go down on a woman!"... uhm... yeah... k... we're buying that book. Now. =) there are parts I don't care for and there are parts that are disputed... but if the result is positive, fine. It's a great example, in my experience, where sex (oral) with one partner that usually ended in orgasm for her changed to always ending in orgasm.

she didn't know what exactly she needed different. She was completely different from the previous love... so everything that was "right" for the other love did not work at all for the next. Reading a book and sharing interesting sections absolutely gave us a path to better sex.

and while I completely agree it shouldn't all be about the Big O... it surely doesn't hurt ones ability to mentally release when you trust your partner is tuned into your likes and needs. Bonus.

[questionsssss]

I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I'm 19 and I realize the feeling that I have to pee is the orgasm coming on but I also can't release the feeling. I have been trying to find a solution for a couple weeks now. I don't want to masturbate, I couldn't even turn myself on if I tried. It definitely requires a partner for me to get in the mood and the whole idea just throws me off. That doesn't mean I am uncomfortable or unfamiliar with my body. My problem is just releasing it. I know my boyfriend is doing everything right, it's just me. I don't feel rushed or stressed and I just try and take a few deep breaths but nothing seems to work. He's really supportive of me and just wants to make me feel good - sounds like you. Let me know if you find an answer!

[CravenMorhead]

I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I'm 19 and I realize the feeling that I have to pee is the orgasm coming on but I also can't release the feeling. I have been trying to find a solution for a couple weeks now. I don't want to masturbate, I couldn't even turn myself on if I tried. It definitely requires a partner for me to get in the mood and the whole idea just throws me off. That doesn't mean I am uncomfortable or unfamiliar with my body. My problem is just releasing it. I know my boyfriend is doing everything right, it's just me. I don't feel rushed or stressed and I just try and take a few deep breaths but nothing seems to work. He's really supportive of me and just wants to make me feel good - sounds like you. Let me know if you find an answer!

It would be quite a bit more effect if you posted your question as it's own thread instead of piggy backing it on another question. Each person's situation is a little different and it isn't fair to the original poster for you to hijack the thread.

Post this as your own question and we will be able to help you further.

Cheers,

[jenniepepsi]

I want to ask this, though others covered everything else pretty well, and this probably is not the issue.

I had HUGE issues of letting go at that moment. It subconcioiusly *without me knowing* terrified me and I blocked myself from achievieving that perfect zen. I spoke to my doctor about it and he said it was totally normal for people like me. I was raped when I was 11, and raped nearly nightly by my daughters father for 2 years. Sexual abuse and rape can have HUGE impacts on how you view sex. If you know about any sexual abuse in her life, that may be the answer, or ask her (in a loving way, show your concern not your judgement) if she had been.

I never thought that was the problem. I had assumed I was over it because I was repressing it. It didn't affect me on a conscious level so I didn't think it was the problem. It wasn't until after I went to sexual abuse survior therepy that I REALLY got past it and was able to truly enjoy sex and pleasures.

Good luck hon. I hope you guys figure this out.

[Cat1864]

It would probably be a good idea to get an update from Bruce before giving him anymore advice. He hasn't been back since November, 2010 so hopefully they have had positive developments.

[sugardoll]

That means she is going to be a squirter! I had the same problem before I started having orgasms. I always felt like I was going to have an orgasm but felt like I had to pee, but it's just the ejacuation fluid buidling up.