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    biologynerd311's Avatar
    biologynerd311 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 13, 2012, 01:08 PM
    Tottering between Yes and No about Sex
    Well, I think the title of my question gives it away. Obviously I am not ready for sex, but I am looking for some guidance. I recently found out that my mother has been lying to me about abstaining from sex until marriage; she was about my age when she and Dad started. This of course made me uncomfortable around my mother because she wasn’t truthful with me, so how can I come to her about this? I feel like I cannot talk to my parents about any of this, maybe because Mom assumes a whole lot, so I turned to the internet for some help.

    My boyfriend and I are both 17 and we’ve been together for two years now with a year of friendship before we stared dating, so that makes it three I guess. So far in our relationship we’ve experimented with third base kind of stuff, and of course “the big question” has come up a few times. We are at a point in our relationship where we’re not afraid to feel comfortable around each other naked. It feels natural, and there’s no pressure to do anything. We’ve talked about sex and decided to wait until we’re at least 18. Lately the subject has been on my mind, mainly because 18 is less than a year away. I don’t feel afraid or pressured, but nervous for what the first time will be like; it’s only natural, so I’ve heard.

    I honestly don’t know what I’m asking here, but does anyone have any advice?
    AGold737's Avatar
    AGold737 Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    May 13, 2012, 01:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by biologynerd311 View Post
    Well, I think the title of my question gives it away. Obviously I am not ready for sex, but I am looking for some guidance. I recently found out that my mother has been lying to me about abstaining from sex until marriage; she was about my age when she and Dad started. This of course made me uncomfortable around my mother because she wasn’t truthful with me, so how can I come to her about this? I feel like I cannot talk to my parents about any of this, maybe because Mom assumes a whole lot, so I turned to the internet for some help.

    My boyfriend and I are both 17 and we’ve been together for two years now with a year of friendship before we stared dating, so that makes it three I guess. So far in our relationship we’ve experimented with third base kind of stuff, and of course “the big question” has come up a few times. We are at a point in our relationship where we’re not afraid to feel comfortable around each other naked. It feels natural, and there’s no pressure to do anything. We’ve talked about sex and decided to wait until we’re at least 18. Lately the subject has been on my mind, mainly because 18 is less than a year away. I don’t feel afraid or pressured, but nervous for what the first time will be like; it’s only natural, so I’ve heard.

    I honestly don’t know what I’m asking here, but does anyone have any advice?
    "slow and steady wins the race"

    I was 18 years old when I lost my virginity. I am a male and in my opinion for myself it was just as intimate to me as it was to my then spouse. We were both virgin's. Take it slow and be sure that you know that you are ready. After it is over,you may feel euphoria. It is a very liberating experience. Which also is a natural feeling.Dont let it get to your head. Woman tend to have just as much of a problem with getting big-headed as men do at times. Talk about it afterwards with him and encourage him to talk to you about it. Keep it as intimate as possible throughout the whole encounter. Make it a memory worth keeping and reminiscing on. Continue to share your dreams with him and always remain open to him as he needs to be with you.

    Good luck to the both of you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    May 13, 2012, 01:23 PM
    You issue is not about having sex now, since no of course it is too early and you are not ready.

    So your mom lied to you about doing bad behavior when she was younger, ( HUH) of course she did, almost all parents do, they do not tell you normally about getting drunk and naked, about perhaps stealing something, or smoking pot.

    They are not suppose to and really it is none of your business.

    So your mom and dad are human, and made mistakes, Does not mean you have to do all of it too, to prove a point.
    biologynerd311's Avatar
    biologynerd311 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 13, 2012, 01:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    You issue is not about having sex now, since no of course it is too early and you are not ready.

    So your mom lied to you about doing bad behavior when she was younger, ( HUH) of course she did, almost all parents do, they do not tell you normally about getting drunk and naked, about perhaps stealing something, or smoking pot.

    They are not suppose to and really it is none of your business.

    So your mom and dad are human, and made mistakes, Does not mean you have to do all of it too, to prove a point.
    Well, I know that lol. I just wanted to talk to someone else at the moment about it. Thank you for your advice :)
    nonameplease's Avatar
    nonameplease Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 24, 2012, 01:21 PM
    I'm a big believer in no sex until marriage, but I don't have control over your choices. My advice: Don't have sex if you're being pressured to, by society or your boyfriend. It definitely needs to be a decision you make. (Respect if your boyfriend says no, though.)
    About your mother: Parents were teens like us once upon a time, i.e. they had hormones. I know that when I have children, I won't be telling them about my escapades as a teenager. For instance, if you ever drank in high school, and you realized it was an error, would you tell your children (whose parents are role models) that their mother drank alcohol illegally? I doubt I would.

    P.S. the drinking example was completely hypothetical. No allegations.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #6

    May 25, 2012, 04:15 AM
    All you have to do to answer your question is ask yourself this one.

    "Am I ready to raise a child?"

    If the answer is yes, go ahead, if the answer is no then you shouldn't. Plain and simple. There's no 100% way of not getting pregnant, there's always a chance.

    Try reading this and adding it to my argument.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ve-303617.html

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