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    algebramary's Avatar
    algebramary Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 2, 2012, 12:45 PM
    I have stepmom problems
    Everything is always great at the beginning. The thing is, I met my dad when I was 12 because I lived with my mother (family issues) so he was already with my stepmom, and they got married about two years later.

    At the beginning she was nice and sweet showing my dad that she buys me everything and is the best mother material ever. Later, it got a lot worse because she is a typical control freak. People to her are like game pieces and she loves to move them around her way. If something does not go the way she wants it she goes completely crazy.

    I am a very outspoken person and when someone insults me I do not stay quiet. I do not go overboard because I was taught to be very respectful but I do not stay quiet. She loves the fact that I am not allowed to say anything back, so she will sit there and talk to me that I am complete trash and has the satisfaction that I can't say anything back (Those are the rules in my house)

    Recently she took online classes that I have to take for her. I currently have Seven finals to worry about and two speeches to create for her. When my dad is around she will sit next to me on the computer and pretend that she has input into all the school work, but in reality she doesn't do anything and her excuse is that "I type faster" I do not have time to do any of my own school work and top of this I am raising her child for her because she works nightshift an hour away and sleeps during the day while my dads shift change monthly.

    Many times she put her hands on me. Once my dad was present in the basement and she pinned me to a counter and started choking me in the kitchen. Since I have been physically abused all my life by my mother's boyfriend, I reacted with calling my dad for help. As soon as he ran into the kitchen, she let go and started crying and screaming that I am hitting her and her baby (She was 3 months pregnant I believe) My dad did not react to this and did not find it odd that I was the one who was bleeding all over my neck from her scratching me AND on top of this I am 100 pounds and she is 200+,

    He technically knows her longer and she always gives him the ultimatum that its either her or me and my sister. My sister moved out a year ago and broke off all contact with all of us. She used to talk to me but it stopped. My stepmom constantly brain washes my father that I am crazy and arrogant. I thought about calling the authorities about the abuse but I do not want to ruin my father's life. He does not seem to listen to any of my concerns about what is going on with us in the house and all these responsibilities that were thrown on me without thinking about the fact that I as well have a job and I have college to worry about.

    I am 19 years old and I am not allowed to leave the house during the week. I am allowed to go out Friday and Saturday but I have to be home 9:45pm the latest. The solid fact that they think that this is okay proves to me that my dad is not a person I can count on when it comes to any support. I do not sleep at night due to my baby brother who calls me mom because he is at the age when he wakes up during the night a couple of times. When I wake up I am constantly late to classes because I can't leave my brother until one of my parents arrive from their nightshift.

    I am mentally and physically exhausted but there is no way out until I finish my nursing program. My boyfriend and his family are very supportive of my situation and offered help many times but I am not the type to move in with someone and not be able to pay them rent. I want to be independent and not take advantage of someone's good heart. Also, I am only 19 and I do not know where life will take me so it would not be a good situation if I ended up breaking off my relations with my boyfriend while living the house with him and his parents. Help?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    May 3, 2012, 10:10 AM
    She proved she loved you by buying you things? Those are two different things.

    At any rate - if you are being physically abused you need to contact the Police. If it happened in the past there is little you can do now. Your father's life won't be "ruined" if you report HER for abusing you.

    She works the nightshift and sleeps during the day so you are raising "her child"? Isn't that child your stepsibling? At any rate, most people who works nights sleep during the day. If your family needs the income and that's the work available to her and you are home to babysit, I don't see the problem. Your father doesn't babysit when his shift changes and he's home?

    I assume your are paying your own college expenses and that is not the reason your father and stepmom have to both work? Or is it just a question of the economy?

    I agree that moving in with an uncommitted boyfriend is not a very good idea. Do you have other family members you can count on? Your sister moved out (I realize) and has no contact with you but have you reached out to her?

    How much longer are you in nursing school?

    I'm a stepmother. These situations take two people. It's not easy being on either side.

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