[Grasshopper92]

Hey everyone,

I'm a 19 y.o. college student and me and my girlfriend have been dating for about half a year. We met each other about 8-9 months ago (right after I ended a long term relationship with my ex), and she came onto me very strongly. I was still having emotional troubles at the time (with my ex), and although I told my current girlfriend that I needed space she continued to be very persistent. Long story short, I feel like the convenience (we live <5 min away walking distance) of the relationship was what tied me in with her and made me date her.

It's kind of unspoken knowledge among our group of friends that I'm only with her for sex, but I do like her more than they think. She's a sweet, kind girl, but she's extremely clingy and obsessive, and a little bit dense (which is not my cup of tea, and I don't mean that in any condescending way).

There was another girl I met who lived in my building that I constantly saw in passing during the year, and now that summer is around I find myself being kept up at night thinking about her, practicing conversations with her, etc. I never felt this way with any of my ex's. She's extremely smart, trendy, fun, and drop-dead gorgeous. Literally one of the most beautiful girls I've ever met. Unfortunately she's a little bit of a B-word, but since she likes me I've never been on the brute end of that stick, I've only observed.

The problem is, we're in semi-different crowds, and I have been dating my current for almost as long as I've known her, so I never really had the opportunity to go for her (plus I've been kind of intimidated ;p). We've had plenty of conversations and done a few things together. I'd say I know her on a "mysterious" friend level, but it's clear that we both like each other, so I feel like if I go for it I have nothing to lose.

My heart is telling me to start spending more time with this girl, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. As I mentioned before, I've never really had this kind of feeling with my ex, or even my current girlfriend.

What should I do?

[mmresd]

Regardless of whether you go after the new girl, break up with your girlfriend, no point in leading her on when the feelings are just not there. When you are single, you can see where the friendship with the other girl can grow to.

[Grasshopper92]

Thanks for the response.

It's not that the feelings aren't "there", it's more that the feelings are convoluted. When I'm not with my girlfriend (physically) my feelings die down, and I tend slowly lose feelings as the period of physical separation increases. But not to the point where I could cheat on her and not care or anything like that. Is it normal for that to happen? Or is that a sign that--as you said--the feelings are just not there?

Cheers

^After a week of not being with her, I practically lose feelings until I see her again

[CoruptedAngel]

Yes break up with your current girlfriend before moving on with another. You owe the girl you are with now that respect.

[wonderfulworld0]

I would say that you just don't know what you want I think you are not ready to settle down and I don't think either are right for you in my opinion. I would say the best thing for you to do is stay with your current girlfriend and this crush on this other woman will soon die down and just don't make any quick decisions. If someone is dense but they are kind and loving and sweet then those qualities are most important. You already said this other girl is a . You have not said your current girlfriend is a however.

[talaniman]

I think you are acting out of at least lust, and wanting a female. That goes for the new girl. That's how attractions work, Its normal to be attracted to many, but to actually act on those feelings you need to be single, and stay single until those feelings of lust wear off and you are sure about any commitment you want to make. You didn't do that with the current girl, just followed her lead, but now that you would like to pursue someone else, honesty and good behavior requires you to tell the truth to the current female, before you go chasing the beeyatch.

Maybe think with your head and not just your feelings or suffer the beeyatch wrath dense girls. I hope in coming years your choices get better. For now be single so your lust doesn't complicate your life as any relationship built on lust is a high risk proposition. It fails when the lust fades... lust always fades with time.