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songbyrd1955 · May 1, 2012, 06:29 AM

My girlfriend and I lived in an apt(in her name) and we were evicted. Our decision was for me to move with our daughter to southern Indiana with my mom and stepdad while she and her son move in with her dad 30 minutes away from our apt. It has been a month and now she wants to come get our daughter for a week(supposedly). We had a cps case up in northern Indiana and we told them our plans. Cps was called because we had the cops called on us and they found her apt unfit. What can I do or what rights do I have from keeping her from coming to get our daughter. Her father and her are totally toxic together. He drinks all the time and I fear for my 6 month old daughter being in that envirionment. I am on the birth certificate as the father but no dna test has been done as yet. Please help

need2ask · May 1, 2012, 07:57 AM

Originally Posted by songbyrd1955

My girlfriend and I lived in an apt(in her name) and we were evicted. Our descision was for me to move with our daughter to southern Indiana with my mom and stepdad while she and her son move in with her dad 30 minutes away from our apt. It has been a month and now she wants to come get our daughter for a week(supposedly). We had a cps case up in northern Indiana and we told them our plans. Cps was called because we had the cops called on us and they found her apt unfit. What can I do or what rights do I have from keeping her from coming to get our daughter. Her father and her are totally toxic together. He drinks all the time and I fear for my 6 month old daughter being in that envirionment. I am on the birth certificate as the father but no dna test has been done as yet. Please help

I'm not sure about the time it takes or the Law for the abandonment charge in Indiana, but in "my own experience" here in Florida, as long as you can get a certified copy of the birth certificate showing YOUR name as the father. Here in Florida the police can't make you give her the baby unless she has custody papers in her hand showing that a judge ordered her as the legal guardian. It worked for me in a similar situation. It wouldn't hurt to get in touch with your cps worker and get copies of any paperwork they may have also.

I am not a lawyer and am not giving legal advice only stating what worked for me.
Good luck!

Fr_Chuck · May 1, 2012, 08:45 AM

First why should there ever be a DNA test, there is no requirement or need since he is listed on the birth certificate, he is the legal father and will remain so unless there is a legal challenge ( which is not even allowed after a period in some US states)

If there is no custody agreement and it appears you are not considering getting back together. If you were this would not be a issue. You need to file for child custody, and if you get custody, have her set up visitation though the courts

ScottGem · May 1, 2012, 09:48 AM

Abandonment is not at issue here. The issue is custody. When you split it was apparently agreed that you would have custody of your daughter. Until there is a court order to the contrary, that is what exists.

Now she can go to court and ask for custody and/or visitation. At which point you produce the cps evaluation they her living situation was unfit. That should limit visits to supervised if any.

need2ask · May 1, 2012, 10:39 PM

I didn't bring up the DNA he posted that. My opinion was that of the same. He is on the birth certificate as the father, they are not married. So they don't take children from parents unless there is a judgment saying one should have the child before the other.

FirstChair · May 2, 2012, 12:23 AM

As determined, you do have parental rights. Of course at this time she has rights too because being unstable or neglectful has not been proven, even if she has been gone a month. After all, she wants to take the child for a week as she claims. I agree the mother should have supervised visitation with the child, but at this time not be allowed to take her from where she is now living, with you. Perhaps you or your mother can seek being an 'approved adult' where she can visit with the child in your home or in this case the home of your parents. Of course as always seek legal advice regarding the protection of your child. If this goes to court you must always have the best interest of the child in mind, physically and emotionally.

JudyKayTee · May 3, 2012, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by need2ask

I'm not sure about the time it takes or the Law for the abandonment charge in Indiana, but in "my own experience" here in Florida, as long as you can get a certified copy of the birth certificate showing YOUR name as the father. Here in Florida the police can't make you give her the baby unless she has custody papers in her hand showing that a judge ordered her as the legal guardian. It worked for me in a similiar situation. It wouldn't hurt to get in touch with your cps worker and get copies of any paperwork they may have also.

I am not a lawyer and am not giving legal advice only stating what worked for me.
Good luck!

You are absolutely incorrect - legal guardian? Custody papers? CPS?

The father has NO rights until he goes to Court to enforce them.

I realize you are posting from your experience, but several things you have posted are entirely outside the law. Again, maybe it's your experience but it's not how the law is written.

need2ask · May 4, 2012, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You are absolutely incorrect - legal guardian? Custody papers? CPS?

The father has NO rights until he goes to Court to enforce them.

I realize you are posting from your experience, but several things you have posted are entirely outside the law. Again, maybe it's your experience but it's not how the law is written.

I don't know what state you live in, but from my own experience.. In Florida, If both parents are listed on the Birth Certificate,Possession is 9/10ths of the law.(as sad as it sounds) No Police officer would take MY son back from his dad's visit unless I had a Custody order from the judge in hand showing that "I" was the custodial parent! We were Never married and I never thought I needed to take him to court for custody. I thought we could just be civil with our breakup and visitation of our child. Times have changed and believe it or not Fathers do have rights too. I didn't think so and it cost me a lot of money for lawyers fees to get the title "Primary custodial parent" in a joint custody order. In Florida it is basically who gets to the courthouse first if your both on the certificate.

JudyKayTee · May 4, 2012, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by need2ask

I don't know what state you live in, but from my own experience.. In Florida, If both parents are listed on the Birth Certificate,Possession is 9/10ths of the law.(as sad as it sounds) No Police officer would take MY son back from his dad's visit unless I had a Custody order from the judge in hand showing that "I" was the custodial parent! We were Never married and I never thought I needed to take him to court for custody. I thought we could just be civil with our breakup and visitation of our child. Times have changed and believe it or not Fathers do have rights too. I didn't think so and it cost me a lot of money for lawyers fees to get the title "Primary custodial parent" in a joint custody order. In Florida it is basically who gets to the courthouse first if your both on the certificate.

I realize you've posted your own experience several time BUT most definitely the first person at the Courthouse is NOT the person who gets primary/custodial custody.

I've asked before - please don't guess at answers on the legal boards.

ScottGem · May 4, 2012, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by need2ask

r. In Florida it is basically who gets to the courthouse first if your both on the certificate.

That is not an accurate statement. It is true that, absent a court order, both parents have equal custody. The police deal mostly in criminal matters and custody is a civil matter. So, if one parent has "possession" of the child, without a court order the police will do nothing.

But courts are charged with ruling in the best interests of the child. Its not who files first but who files the best case of what is best for the child.

need2ask · May 5, 2012, 05:16 AM

My saying "who gets to the courthouse first" has nothing to do with who gets custody first. I say that because when I (the first one) filed for emergency temporary custody) He then became the respondent. It's always up to the judge who gets custody. But until an actual custody hearing was set. A faster hearing was made, so that he could not keep him from me anymore and it gave me the papers I needed because it WAS a "civil case".

JudyKayTee · May 5, 2012, 05:49 AM

Originally Posted by need2ask

My saying "who gets to the courthouse first" has nothing to do with who gets custody first. I say that because when I (the first one) filed for emergency temporary custody) He then became the respondent. It's always up to the judge who gets custody. But until an actual custody hearing was set. A faster hearing was made, so that he could not keep him from me anymore and it gave me the papers I needed because it WAS a "civil case".

This makes no sense - it doesn't matter who gets to the Courthouse first. All parties have equal rights to be heard. The first one there doesn't get more time (or points) than the second one there.

I already knew that a Judge decides who gets custody.

I have no idea what a "faster hearing ... gave me the papers I needed because it was a civil case" means.

Again - maybe it's your experience but it's bad legal advice in general.

need2ask · May 7, 2012, 05:02 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

That is not an accurate statement. It is true that, absent a court order, both parents have equal custody. The police deal mostly in criminal matters and custody is a civil matter. So, if one parent has "possession" of the child, without a court order the police will do nothing.

But courts are charged with ruling in the best interests of the child. Its not who files first but who files the best case of what is best for the child.

I believe that is what I said first. When I said who gets to the courthouse first, just meant who will be petitioning first..

JudyKayTee · May 7, 2012, 05:27 AM

The person who petitions does NOT have the upper hand - you keep saying that "first."

I keep saying what I just said right after that.

Please - this is a legal board. Keep your advice legal. I also just realized that your experience was 10 years ago.

Times have changed.