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sixtwentythree · Apr 26, 2012, 09:58 PM

I'm a 20 year old white female. I'm pretty unattractive to be honest, I'm tall and skinny with no curves, brown hair, brown eyes and olive skin. I've been with one guy in my life. My family and friends act like its amazing that I am not dating, my sister is always trying to "hook me up" with men she knows, my mom acts like I'm just too gorgeous for words.

All of the women I know are in relationships, married, have baby-daddies and they don't seem the slightest bit happier. Actually they seem pretty unhappy and unsuccessful.

I have a good job for a 20 year old college student, I'm independent, I pay my bills, I have friends to spend time with. I know that I'm alone because I have nothing that a man would ever look at a woman and think "I want that." I dress really well but I have no body. I would rather be alone than end up knocked up, or even killed by a jealous psycho like a girl I knew in high school.

So what can I say or do to let the people around me know that some people are simply made to be alone? When I say "I'm too ugly to have a boyfriend haha" in a half truthful joke I'm going to hear "NO. You're BEAUTIFUL."

All I really want is to travel and become more enriched by the world around me.

none12345 · Apr 26, 2012, 10:31 PM

The best thing you can do is to be yourself, do all the things you love and show other people that you don't need a relationship because you are confident enough to be happy without one.

talaniman · Apr 27, 2012, 07:07 AM

Just change your approach to how you fend them off. Don't make it about what he perceive as your negatives (skinny brown eyed girls can be very attractive), but what you enjoy. Having the freedom to explore, and experiment in yor world.

A 20 year old has that right, and it's the perfect time to explore until you become like your friends.

So its simple, "I am not through exploring yet".

Fr_Chuck · Apr 27, 2012, 08:03 AM

You do not have to worry you will never get anyone since you have such a bad self opinion, in fact this will at some point effect your career and life, since soon you will not get promoted because the "good looking" people get the better jobs, and so on.

You have a bad self image and still seem to be living in the "high school world" where looks is all a person thinks about and looks has to be according to some TV beach bimbo movie.

Guess what that is not the real world, there are men that will not look at you because you do not weigh 300 lbs. They only want large women, there are people who will not look at you because you are not black, or because you don't have a big rump,

There are men who want people who are more "skinny" or small breast.

But the biggest surprise in real life, people don't date because of looks, they have figured out as adults that is shallow and that a real relationship is based off friendships and things you enjoy doing in common.

Go down to your local Walmart, watch people going in, couples, fat, skinny, deformed, and they may have a mate who is a super model, ( both men or women)

You are using looks as a excuse, either admit you just don't want a boyfriend and be honest. Or if you really believe it, perhaps counseling to deal with your negative self worth issues

mmresd · Apr 27, 2012, 10:21 AM

You don't need a man and children for you to be happy. Unless that is something you want at any point in your life then just have fun. However, if you ever come to think that you WOULD like to be with a man, then you are going to have to change your attitude, work on your confidence and yourself esteem.