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katherinenugs · Apr 26, 2012, 04:51 AM

My boyfriend says he loves me and he wants to be with me, but I think he is thinking about another girl... (that he has been with in the past) I know he has been texting her and says they are just friends but I think something's up.. he is being a bit "shady"..

I am not a jealous girl and I love him and enjoy being with him.. but am I setting myself up to get hurt?. I confronted him calmly about the text but he sort of "plays stupid".. I have been thinkng about it too much that I am over-thinking it and I don't know what I should do about it? I told him to let me go because I don't need to be wasting anyone's time and I don't need to waste mine either.. but he says he does not want to and really, Im not ready to let go either, because I know it will be a rough couple months if I do...

We have been together almost 2 yrs.. Advice anyone?

joypulv · Apr 26, 2012, 05:04 AM

Tell him that you don't know if you can stay with him, and are looking into a place of your own and a life without him. Say that it just worries you too much that he is involved in any way with an old girlfriend, harmless or not. In other words, you are the one who can't handle the uncertainty and you aren't making any demands on him to stop. If he loves you he will stop. It's not like he has to give up all his old friends for you.
I was like him years ago, working for an old boyfriend, and that was tough on my new one. I was oblivious because I had no intention of having any romantic involvement again, but my new boyfriend had no 'proof' of that. This has no bearing on what you are going through other than it's possible that he really has no designs on her at all. She might even have a boyfriend. I see no reason why he can't tell you more. If he's elusive, maybe that's a sign of something going on.

talaniman · Apr 26, 2012, 07:39 AM

You have been together for two years and this has become an issue? WHY?? How old are you both and what's really going on in this relationship? What's changed?

katherinenugs · Apr 26, 2012, 09:28 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You have been together for two years and this has become an issue?? WHY??? how old are you both and whats really going on in this relationship? Whats changed?

Well.. I don't know what has changed.. but he asked her when she was coming to town so they could take the dogs for a walk.. that sounds like a date to me.. and if the are such great friends than why hasn't she made the attempt to befriend me? He also called her gorgeous... but he denies it all and says he want me.. what?

talaniman · Apr 26, 2012, 09:41 AM

Insist on meeting her, and make sure he knows the three of you will be walking the dogs when she gets here. There is something wrong when a partner does not include you in his interactions with his friends.

If he wants you, he damn sure better act like it!

mmresd · Apr 26, 2012, 10:15 AM

How do you know who he is texting? Are you going through his things? Because if you are, then you ARE the jealous girlfriend, and untrusting at that. It is impossible for a guy to have female friends and to not be sleeping with them, or wanting anything more than a few good conversations? Calm down, you need to control yourself and trust your boyfriend a little more, without trust there is no relationship. If it is eating your brain past the point you can't handle anymore, then it is time to move on.

xxexoticchaosxx · Apr 26, 2012, 10:22 AM

Just be blunt about it. Tell him straight up that your concerned that he is more than friends with her.. and you would like it if he didn't talk to her anymore. There are over a billion girls he can talk to, ask him why he has to talk to her.. if he has any negativity toward you when you bring it up, he's caught. No doubt about it.