[s_khadijah99]

My 28 year old daughter is verbally and physically abusive towards me. We have never been close and she simply adores her father. (We divorced when she was 9, but maintain a close friendship.)
I recently reconnected with my son, who was given up for adoption when he was born, 40 years ago. This reunion was done with my daughter's help and insistence. After we reunited, my daughter seemed to be more angry and now will not even speak to her brother. Amazing, since she insisted on finding him.
She and her 8 year old daughter live with me. She has never lived independently and does not contribute to any expenses. She has been asked to move, but refused. I feel like a prisoner in my own home.
I adore my granddaughter and she loves me. My daughter is college educated, but has had anger issues on all of her jobs. I don't know what to do.

[mylink]

First i am very sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I would never allow any child of mine to be verbally or physically abusive towards me. If she refuses to contribute to expenses ask her to leave one more time. Pick up the phone and call police and have her removed.i know you love your grandchild, butwhats more important. Once she is out on her own she will come to realize what she had.good luck to you.

[Chardel]

Wow, you are in a hard situation to resolve... On one hand you boot her butt to the curb, but run the risk of her taking your Grand daughter out of your life... Not fair to either of you,. Or you continue to put up with her abuse and keep your Grand daughter close... Once again not fair to either one of you...
Have you tried pointing out to your Daughter that she is teaching your Grand daughter that this is the way you treat your parents as adults, because this behavior is going to blow up in her face later?
You say she has anger issues at work, I'm thinking she has anger issues all the time... Have you tried suggesting a councelor?
Unfortunately you may have to get the police involved... That will probably bring children's protection services, what ever that my be where you are, and could result in a whole load of stuff you don't really want or need in your life... but if your Daughter is leaving you no options...
You could also try another tact that my sister-in-law was going to do. She told her three adult children that if they didn't start helping out, physically and monetarily, and start treating her with the respect she deserved then she was going to sell her house, move into a one bedroom apartment and leave them blowing in the breeze... Guess what? It worked!!
If nothing else I strongly suggest some sort of counceling, relaxation therapy, or even a hobby that gets you out of the house and away from the tension for a while every so often.
As for the relationship with your son... enjoy it for what it is... I too have a Brother who wants nothing to do with me after finally meeting each other, I was adopted too, I look at it this way... I lived quite nicely without him for this long I can do it a bit longer, till he grows up and realizes that I could be an important person in his life someday. But I can tell you, I enjoy a very good relationship with my Birth Father now.
Hugs and keep your chin up... You are in charge of your own happiness.

[3kidsnadog]

I'm so sorry for the tough situation you are in. It's particularly difficult since your granddaughter is involved, too... and I know you really want to keep that relationship strong. I really feel for you... and wish I could make it instantly better for you. Definitely think you should reach out to someone for help. Perhaps a Pastor or Counselor? Or.. even speak with someone at a safe house in your area to see about some solutions. One of the numbers we give out at my workplace is the National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence (violence both physical and emotional)... here's a link to the page with their contact info on it. National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence. Hang in there! I really hope you'll reach out... HUGS!