Check out some similar questions!

Grsndma6 · Apr 19, 2012, 03:40 AM

I adopted my grandson 2 years ago, I allowed visitation with his birth mom up until July of last year. She stole money from me, and was a very bad influence on my grandson. Every time she saw him he would revert to being a baby because mom loved him better that way. Do I have to allow her to see him? She talking about taking me to court to get parental visitations granted?

ScottGem · Apr 19, 2012, 03:42 AM

If you legally adopted the child that severed all parental rights the mother had. So she can try taking you to court, but will lose.

Grsndma6 · Apr 19, 2012, 04:28 AM

Thank you Scott, that was my understanding to. I just wanted to make sure I Knew what I was talking about when I told her to go ahead. Yes I legally adopted him. Have Birth certificate that says I'm his mom.

Synnen · Apr 19, 2012, 07:46 AM

What state are you in? Was there a legal contract between you and the birthmother BEFORE the adoption happened (some states do allow that)?

Grsndma6 · Apr 19, 2012, 07:55 AM

I live in Massachusetts, and no I have never had a contract with his birthmother.

Synnen · Apr 19, 2012, 10:58 AM

It is highly unlikely in Massachusetts that she will get any court ordered visitation. It's POSSIBLE, but not likely at all.

If she gets a lawyer to take you to court, make sure you have a lawyer as well.

Perhaps you can keep communication open by having her write letters and get letters in return? Your son will have questions about her as he gets older, and with letters you can limit the kind of influence she has on him.

Grsndma6 · Apr 19, 2012, 01:28 PM

Why would it be possible? I don't want her involved at all, Not even letters. I'm even thinking of moving out of the state to get away from her.

Grsndma6 · Apr 19, 2012, 01:29 PM

Grsndma6;3090167]Why would it be possible? I don't want her involved at all, Not even letters. I'm even thinking of moving out of the state to get away from her.

Synnen · Apr 20, 2012, 08:11 AM

Because courts are realizing that it is better to allow visitation than to go through a custody battle if the birthparents decide they were coerced into relinquishing parental rights.

It doesn't happen very often, but it CAN happen. It's not probable in your case.

And how would you explain to your son later about why his birthmother doesn't love him enough to even send letters or an email to him? Except in cases where CPS has been involved (and yours may be such a case... you don't specify if the relinquishment was voluntary or state ordered), MOST adoptions are open these days, with SOME involvement (usually minimal) with the birthmother or birthparents.

And here's the thing: If you promised the birthmother visitations in order to get her to relinquish her rights so that you could adopt, you could be forced to give her those visitations. Not in all cases, but in SOME cases, the courts have realized that those promises are the ONLY reason a birthmother agreed to the adoption in the first place, and without them no adoption would have happened.

If you can PROVE that the birthmother is a danger to her son, you probably won't have to allow visitation.

Grsndma6 · Apr 21, 2012, 02:45 PM

When I first had to take temp. custody of my then grandson, D.S.S was involved. If I had waited ten minutes later to go down for temp. custody the state would have had him. They had been watching her for a year at that point in time. There was someone en route to the court house to have him removed from her custody. I didn't promise her anything at all. Every time he was with her he would come and act like a baby. He would go back to going to the bathroom in his pants. If she wasn't so bad for him I might consider it. I can't have him thrown out of school because she wants her baby back.