[pinkypanameno]

I had a little girl at the age of 17. Her father and I were engaged to be married but ended up marrying the woman he cheated on me with. Since his nuptials; new wife made it her mission to gain custody of my daughter and succeeded. Completely cutting me out of her life.
I did what I thought was in the best interest of my daughter and relinquished my parental rights to her. (The most difficult thing I've ever done).
Two years ago her father found me on Facebook apologizing for what was done. He divorced the wife and got a new one (who happened to be my best friend at time of custody battle)
So I've been able to speak to her on the phone and via text. I haven't been able to physically visit her since she is in another state.
How do I reconnect with her? We barely talk and it's more texting than anything. I've been trying to take a trip but something always happens to where my trip is canceled and I leave her disappointed... please any advice is welcome :)

[jenniepepsi]

How were they able to get custody? There is more to it than just 'And she succeeded'

The courts do not take a child away from a perfectly capable mother. They would have granted visitation. Not full custody.

What made the courts take the child from you and give her to her father.

For now, take it at HER pace. Don't rush. Let HER decide when and if she wants to see you in person.

[ScottGem]

First find out what the father told her about how they got custody. This may give you some clues on what to talk to her about.

[pinkypanameno]

For jennypepsi... CPS was called when my sister had a party while I was working a double shift at work. She figured id never find out. When I got home (at 4am) I was too angry and tired to clean up. Next morning I get a visit from CPS and although my sister confessed to her mistake CPS refused to believe either if us and that is how they took my kids (2 boys and 1 girl) that very day. Ontop of that when my daughters stepmom got wind she called my boss, my landlord, and whoever else would listen and began defaming my character. I nearly lost my job and home as well because of her. She demanded supervised visitation. She began taking pictures of my daughter claiming I was beating her because of her bruises from learning to walk. It didn't matter what I did no one helped me try to regain custody or testify on my behalf. I hope this gives you an idea of how it came to be...

[pinkypanameno]

To ScottGlenn
I have spoken to her about some of the trash talk, I even told her that it would be better to speak in person. I will be able to speak to her on her birthday next month, she'll be 16 and she has no idea I'm coming up. Thank you for the advice :)

[pinkypanameno]

To garden sparrow
Thank you for your advice. She wants to know me and wants to see me. I have expressed numerous times that I will answer any question she has. I also told her she had the right to be angry and say what she feels. She says she lives me and has always wondered about about me. I am a reader and I'll be searching for the books you recommended. Greatly appreciate it. Thank you

[ScottGem]

Good luck and keep us posted on how this develops.